For those unfortunate souls who haven’t come across the genius of the Darwin Awards before, I will give you a brief overview before we crack on:
Winners of the coveted Darwin Award are people who have shown their stupidity by dying in ridiculous ways, consequently removing themselves from the reproducing masses. In a nutshell, the award is given to people who’ve removed their crappy thicko sperm from our glittering gene pool.
This tale is of an “at risk survivor”. In other words he didn’t actually die but he came close, and it may only be a matter of time before he completely does himself in. This one takes place in Florida in 1999. Clark, a Scoutmaster, went out on a bike ride all alone into the wilderness. After 36 hours his wife got worried that he hadn’t returned and a search effort was mounted.
More than 40 deputies searched on foot and by horseback, and helicopters were drafted in. Eventually the search team heard his screams and what they found must have been a bit of a surprise. The man was suspended upside down by his feet, wearing only his shoes with a video camera pointing straight at him. The Sheriff hypothesised that Clark had been trying to film “an autoerotic situation”. It obviously hadn’t quite gone to plan.
It seems that after performing his “act” he was too tired to reach his feet and untie himself so had to dangle there for days. Humans aren’t supposed to hang upside down for that long, and the damage to his feet was so bad he had to have his left one amputated. Woops.