‘Cocaine Bear’ was released a couple of weeks ago to mixed reviews, with the general consensus being that the funny idea for a movie didn’t actually translate into a funny movie or even one that was very good. Unsuitable for children and encouraging drug use whilst we’re at it as well.
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Despite that reaction, the genre of ‘animal doing drugs and going crazy’ seems to be pumping after it was revealed that there’s already another movie about a shark accidentally doing a bunch of cocaine and going on a mental killing spree. Well, sort of – you’ll see what I mean when you watch the trailer below.
Sadly though (fortunately?), ‘Cocaine Shark’ doesn’t seem to have anywhere near the budget of ‘Cocaine Bear’ – look at those CGI sharks FFS – which means it’s probably going to be about a hundred times worse, but it’s quite funny just watching the trailer and thinking about how terrible it’s going to be. Or maybe you just watch it and pity everyone involved with it because it looks so awful.
Up to you:
A mafia drug lord has unleashed a new, highly addictive stimulant on the streets called HT25, derived from sharks held captive in a secret lab, and which causes monstrous side effects.
After an explosion and leak at the lab, an army of mutated, bloodthirsty sharks and other creatures are set loose on the world.
Err what? That doesn’t look like it’s got anything to do with a shark doing cocaine and going crazy and more like it’s a movie that had a completely different storyline that’s piggybacking off the ‘success’ of ‘Cocaine Bear’ by rebranding as ‘Cocaine Shark’. Cocaine isn’t even mentioned once in the trailer?
It also looks like it was shot by a bunch of high school kids who were given a couple of video cameras for their birthday and somehow managed to rope their older siblings and their friends into starring in their movie. And that CGI! Man, words don’t even do justice about how ropey that is, especially the cuts between scenes.
Can’t actually believe more than one person saw that and thought it was a good idea to keep it in. Or that anyone thought it was a good idea to make this movie and release it while we’re at it. Some people have too much money.
For more of the same, check out ‘Attack Of The Meth Gator’. Another stupid bad movie that a bunch of people have decided to fund. Just give the money to charity or something instead! Spending it all on cocaine would be more useful!
