A 54 year old Chinese man by the name of Mr Khao was forced to call in sick with the unforgettable excuse of him having a knife stuck up his butt earlier this week.
It turns out that he had been attempting to treat a case of haemorrhoids and was using the toy sword to snip at them. Unfortunately for him, he slipped over whilst he was performing this task and the spiky weapon ended up all the way up his butt, with no way of retrieving it.
Mr Khao quickly rushed to the nearby Run Run Shaw Hospital in Hangzhou City, China after he had called in sick at work to get the offending item removed, but unfortunately his fiendish co-workers had tipped off the local press who were there to greet him upon arrival and answer him loads of annoying questions.
These included: ‘Were you crouching over the mirror while you were trying to do it?’ and ‘Did it accidentally slip while you were trying to sit down?’, both of which Khao bluntly answered yes to.
Once he actually made it into the hospital though the situation got even worse for Khao. Even though doctors were able to remove the three inch sword from his butt, they also told him that he didn’t even have piles in the first place, and merely had an itchy butt – the whole escapade had been entirely in vain.
If you ask me, the dude never thought he had piles. I reckon he was just into the kinky stuff – like this list of people that have had a whole bunch of weird stuff stuck in their butts – but wanted to (kinda) save himself the embarrassment by telling everyone it was an accident. I’m onto you buddy, sorry.