SUGAR PUFFS

Just let it go. Your childhood is over. I know you want to stay a kid forever, but it’s got to a point now where we’ve stopped viewing you as quirky and started to consider your child-like demeanor as slightly offensive. It’s time to get rid of your bunk bed, stop reading comic books and for god’s sake, please deconstruct that creepy mural on your bedroom wall. You know? The one you made to honor the deaths of every Tamagotchi you ever owned. We’re all getting very worried for you.

PORRIDGE

You’re a sexual deviant who loves nothing more than dressing up in little girl’s clothing and having 3 burly men in heavy bear suits tie you up and punish you. Which I guess is fine, if that’s what you’re into, I’m not gonna judge you based on that.

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