‘Avocado Hand’ Is Now A Medical Condition Because People Are Idiots

Avocado Hand

Avocados are now the top reason for people cutting their hands open.

Avocados have become a phenomenon in the past few years with their rise from a niche fruit item into pretty much everyone’s weekly shopping list.

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Whilst most people absolutely love avocados, there is a dark side to them and this comes in the form of the condition known as ‘avocado hand’. This is basically when idiots think they’re really good at popping out the stone with a knife but end up slicing their hand with it instead. Morons.

This might sound like something that isn’t actually that common, but in all seriousness St Thomas’ hospital in London have reported a ‘post brunch surge’ on Saturdays with people suffering from the injury and Simon Eccles reckons he treats at least four patients a week with the injury:

Avocado Hand 2

People do not anticipate that the avocados they buy can be very ripe and there is minimal understanding of how to handle them.

We don’t want to put people off the fruit, but I think warning labels are an effective way of dealing with this. It needs to be recognizable. Perhaps we could have a cartoon picture of an avocado with a knife, and a big red cross going through it?

The condition can lead to all sorts of problems as well – some people might just slice their hands open but others have had serious life changing injuries to their tendons and nerves trying to prise that pesky stone out with a knife. People really are silly, because it’s not even that hard to get it out, is it?

In case you don’t know, the easiest way to get it out is to just chop the stone with the knife and once the knife is embedded in it, just twist to get it out. Pretty easy and your other hand doesn’t even have to be anywhere near it so there’s no danger either.

Of course, you could always realise that avocados completely suck and stop eating them all together. If you need any convincing, read this.


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