Schoolies Is The Australian Version Of Spring Break And It Looks 100% Retarded

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We’ve all heard of Spring Break and we all know the kind of debauched nonsense that goes down there, but what we really need to know about is Schoolies.

This is the Australian version of Spring Break and it involves everyone heading to Surfer’s Paradise for a week during their school reading week. As an Australian man explains:

Every one man and his dog gets maggot drunk, has sex with anything with a heart beat, dumps pills and cooks themselves like a well done steak, and parties/passes out on the beach.

After it’s all said and done, they do it all again the next night.

It’s loose as hell, and people say it’s the best way to reward yourself after 12 years of school slavery.

Right on. Some bell end called Jamie Zhu went to go and check it out and the results speak for themselves – it’s pretty much like a more extreme version of Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents, but it’s probably fun if you’re 21.

Featured Image VIA 

Well yeah, my favourite part of the video was probably when the guy hit Jamie Zhu and that kind of says it all. He is a fucking knob.

On the one hand, this kind of makes me wish I went to school in Australia, just so I could have experienced  one time at Schoolies because you know it probably would have been an ‘experience’, provided you didn’t go anywhere near the people Jamie Zhu was hanging out with. On the other hand, all these people look like absolute morons so maybe it wouldn’t have been all that.

Still, the same reason we love all these reality shows is the same reason we love all these videos – because we’re not in them and would never dream of behaving like the people in them, obviously. I would be surprised if there wasn’t a Schoolies reality TV show out there already to be honest.

If they need any tips, they should check out Russian reality television because that really should be the benchmark for everyone.

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