An 81-year-old man has become Britain’s oldest convicted drug driver after he was found behind the wheel under the influence of cocaine.

Arthur Ball, who has hearing aids, uses two walking sticks and has had a carer for 15 years, was more than three times the legal limit when he was tested driving home from his own birthday party on June 2.

When quizzed by police, the OAP said he had not been drinking and had never taken drugs, and so there was only one logical explanation: a guest at his birthday party must have slipped cocaine into his lemonade.

His results showed Ball had 162micrograms of benzoylecgonine (BZE) per litre of blood in his system. BZE is a breakdown product of cocaine and the legal limit is 50mg.

Here’s where the story gets weirder though; Balls car – a Motability Toyota Yaris – had a police marker on it as potentially being used by a drug dealer. His roadside breath test result was a 0, so he clearly hadn’t been drinking. Which seems a bit odd if he then decided to rail a couple lines of cocaine?

Not to mention – he’s 81 and has had a carer for 15 years. How many octogenarians with cocaine problems and pre-existing health issues can there be?

Which makes you wonder whether someone really did slip cocaine into Arthur Ball’s birthday lemonade, as ridiculous as it sounds.

In any case, Ball conceded that he could not prove that his lemonade had been spiked, and so pleaded guilty to drug driving.

He was fined £120, banned from driving for a year, and ordered to pay £85 costs and a £48 surcharge.

His lawyer Mark Lever said in mitigation: ‘He had been out for his birthday, a late birthday celebration. He had not been drinking. He believed that what he had drunk had been contaminated by cocaine. He does not use cocaine.

‘He cannot bring evidence of that so he accepts that he has committed the offence.

‘He was pulled up by the police. Strangely, police have a marker on his car for a drug dealer. He is not a drug dealer. How it got there goodness knows.

‘His driving was not impaired. He has not driven in an erratic manner. He would like to drive again but he accepts he is going to find it difficult over the next 12 months.’

Very strange indeed. You would think a bump of cocaine would certainly impair an 81-year-old behind the wheel, but apparently he was driving just fine. Then again, at that age, a line of coke might actually help? By that age, you obviously know how much you can handle.

Well, either way, let’s hope Arthur keeps to right type of cane from now on. Remember the 81-year-old pensioner who was jailed after joining a gang ‘because he was lonely’? Don’t want to end up like him.