Yo, most of us guys like a good pair of tits, or a cracking arse or lovely, long, slender legs. Some of us like girls to have long hair, some prefer shorter hair, some of us prefer a girl with attitude, some of us like the innocent ones (paedo alert), while some of us have a thing for a girl with a nose piercing or a gap between her teeth.
Fvck, some of us guys even have a thing for sniffing girls’ underwear with period blood on them but that only happens in Japan so that can be kinda expected. Some us even have things for girls with a cock (are they even girls, though?) and a guy I know has a weird thing going on with girls’ ankles. I could go on for ages, saying all the things us blokes wank over but I’d be bored of typing by then so I’m not gonna bother. When you think about all those things that each of us find attractive in a girl, it’s not hard to realise us blokes are a bunch of weirdos but I suppose that’s what makes us so cool. Each to their own, I reckon, anyway.
Even though the majority of us are fucked-up, there’s always gonna be someone out there who’s much more weird/better than you. And this guy, Dave Collins, takes some beating. A fuckload of a lot, actually. He’s got a thing for balloons and I’ve actually never seen somebody look so in love with anything in my life. Not even my gran reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
Dave says: “You feel the balloon right there with you and it feels so close and you feel so warm…and your heart just reaches out to this beautiful, beautiful balloon.”
Yeah, of course, buddy. We’ve all been there.
He also sleeps with a balloon under his top, but reckons he doesn’t do anything else to it. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing if he’s shagged any of the balloons – I’ve never tried it and for all I know it could be awesome. I’m guessing there’s a pretty good suction technique.
Here’s the video of Dave and his ‘family’ of balloons.