It seems obvious that whenever you pick up a pizza, you hold it flat in front of you so that the toppings don’t all slide down to one side of the pizza, making one side completely bland and boring and the other overindulgent to say the least.

I did this once by accident and it was literally the worst day of my life, so I can understand why this pizza store employee would be mad about the fact that some guy came into his store every week and tucked his pizzas under his arm so that this would always happen. What the hell was his problem?

You can read the story in a series of tweets below, and let me tell you the punchline is a zinger:

Featured Image VIA

I’ve never hated anyone in my life except this next guy.

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

My old job I worked at a pizza place. Every week this guy came in and order 2 extra large pizzas. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

And every single week, I yell “Pickup Smith”. He walks up to the counter. Shows me his receipt. I slide the pizzas across the counter.

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Mr. Smith picks up the two pies (18″)… AND TURNS THE BOXES SIDEWAYS UNDER HIS ARMS. He walks out the door with 2 piping hot loaded pies. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

HE JUST NONCHALANTLY CARRIES HIS PIZZAS LIKE A HIGHSCHOOLER CARRYING TEXT BOOKS

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

There were a bunch of Spanish cooks working with me, that couldn’t take it. They spend 70 hours a week making pizzas. And to see this.

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Theyd step to the back. Others couldn’t look away. It was like a train wreck. A large elderly woman wearing yoga pants. Couldn’t look away – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Keep in mind when you DELIVER a pizza( flat surface sitting in your car) if you drive erratically you can slide the cheese to one side. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

And this guy was TUCKING. Up under his arm Like he was walking in to an interview with Disney Pixar carrying his doodle portfolio. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Some of the cooks would say things like “he should not do this” “why does he do this” “puta gringos” but no matter the nationality we agreed – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

He had to be stopped. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

At first, I started carrying his pizzas out to his car for him. “Oh wow great service” he’d say. And then when I handed him the pies – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

When we reached his Subaru, HED TUCK THEM UNDER HIS ARM THEN PUT THEM IN THE CAR – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Then I started hinting about eating other food. “Hey mr smith you should try the cheese steaks” “the moss sticks are great” nope. Tucked. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Finally we offered free delivery, normally $1.75 delivery fee, but for him. Nothing. Don’t even tip. Just let us bring the pies horizontally

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

You live 35 minutes away and only stop here because you work locally? Don’t worry. We got you. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

“Nah. I like coming in to see you guys”… Is he fucking with us? Does he enjoy the range of emotion we demonstrate because of his antics? – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

‘ve never seen someone as regretful of their profession as our Guatemalan cook Tony. He told me Smith made him ‘want to to go home’. – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

I digress. It’s my last week working there. Smith calls his order in on Thursday. I know I have 25 minutes to prepare. What should I say.

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

I’ve never straight up asked him. Closest I’ve gotten was proxy conversations with customers that came up after him, as disgusted as I was – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

So he walks in. He pays. The pies come out. I yell “Pick Up Smith”. He walks up with his receipt. I slide the pies. He picks them up

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

begins to tuck them under his arm. And in this moment I know. It’s now or never. My five years at Philadelphia Style Pizza have come to this – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

This is for me, for tony, for Guatemala. He turns to leave. And suddenly as if without preparation I ask…”Why”

– joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

He looks at the me. Then the tucked pies. Then back at me. Pauses for a moment and says – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

They’re for my family I don’t even eat pizza – joewen wilson (@sad_tree) January 13, 2016

Speechless. After thinking about it a bit more though, it raises an even more important question: has this guy’s family ever eaten pizza in the correct manner? How the hell do they even go about dividing the slices? Would you even like pizza eating it this way?

I hate Mr. Smith too to be honest. Why would you do that to your family? Does he hate his family?

For more bizarre pizza stories, check out all the weird customers this pizza deliver girl used to deliver to. Some real humdingers in there.