Make This Election Bearable With The Theresa May Drinking Game

The only way to make it through.

Surely the thought of having the Tories in power for another five years is enough to turn anyone into a fully-fledged alcoholic, but if you’re somehow still on the wagon then why not try this new Theresa May drinking game? It’s guaranteed to keep you completely blottoed right through to election day and beyond.


The rules are simple: switch on any 24 hour news network and take a gulp (or even just a sip) of beer every time Theresa May says the words “strong” and/or “stable”.

Throw into the mix a shot every time she says “coalition of chaos”, “clear choice” or “in the national interest” and it’s almost impossible to make it through half an hour without blacking out. Other variants include drinking every time she evades a direct question, makes a personal attack on Jeremy Corbyn or brings up Brexit for no reason.



But all this talk of strong and stable has got me thinking: Is Theresa May strong or stable at all? Or is she like one of those people you meet at parties who constantly tell you how funny they are, but never actually say anything funny.

She was strongly against Brexit before the vote, but now she is strongly behind it. She was strongly against having an election before announcing one, and now she’s seems kind of indifferent about it. Even in the budget, the only actual work she’s been involved in since becoming PM, she started out supporting the chancellor before kowtowing to pressure from her MPs and the media.

It seems like the lady doth protest too much. Strong and stable, eh? Sounds like a load of horseshit to me. For more on Theresa May, check out this graffiti showing her being spanked by Donald Trump. Grimy.


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