Zombies Spotted In New York


Zombies have recently been spotted walking the streets of New York. Would you feel safe sharing a pavement with one?


The world went batshit crazy for zombies a few weeks back – everyone seemed to be talking about the guy who chewed another guy’s face off and about the guy who ate another guy’s organs after murdering him and even about the guy who threw his intestines at cops after he cut them out of himself. You couldn’t log onto the internet without coming across some sort of story about the fucked-up things going on in the world – people couldn’t understand why there was such a massive flurry of these grim incidents going on – and there were also lonely people propagandising the end of the world and others telling us that 2012 was the year we’d end up living in a world like something out of a film like 28 Days Later or whatever.

No-one really cares about the impending zombie apocalypse anymore, though, as the Olympics are on and we can waste our lives watching beach volleyball or judo or whatever the fvck happens to be on as we sit down and eat our microwaveable meals. No-one has to worry about a zombie knocking at your door, asking for a teabag, when we can just sit back, light one up and watch hours of sport that no-one will care about after next week, right?

Well, you don’t have to worry if you don’t live in New York, anyway. Zombies were spotted patrolling the streets there recently and people shit themselves when they came across them. (Keep an eye out for the guy nearly having a stroke at 39 seconds.) Got to be said, though, if I saw these guys walking the streets where I live, I’d probably piss, shit, spunk and puke at the same time. Gnarly. They deserve a round of applause.

Check it:

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