Normally we only write stories about seagulls being assholes during the summer as this is when they’re most prevalent, but for some reason this woman has decided to come forward and tell a story about how she tried to make friends with one but it obviously didn’t work out how she wanted.

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41 year old Hayley Bennington claimed to be best friends with Bernie the seagull since the summer of 2020, but she wasn’t ready for the events of October 29th, when Bernie decided to completely destroy her apartment. Bernie apparently smelled some potato wedges that Hayley had been cooking and couldn’t contain himself, crashing around the place puking up tiny crabs and destroying a bunch of priceless ornaments in the process too.

He even pecked Hayley in the face when she tried to confront him, pecking off her veneers. For some reason she has the whole incident filmed as well:

I knew what [the noise] was straight away — it’s happened loads of times.

I just think it’s funny. I’m a pretty chilled-out person — if I was any more chilled, I’d be in a coma. I really just don’t care.

Because he was in my hand, I decided to give him a cuddle before I let him go, but he pecked me. I think he was annoyed because he wanted the [potato] wedges.

I’ve had to book a dentist appointment, but I’ve got some superglue, for now, to try and stick it back on.

He really, really hurt my nose. I’ve got a cut. I’ve got to keep putting cream on and making sure it is cleaned properly.

He cut all the way from one side, underneath and inside the nose, as well as down the middle and on the other side. So, I’ve got this snip on my nose. It’s all scabby and bloody.

I’m fine though, it’ll go away.

I’m his friend. I think he pretends to be my friend because he wants some food — but I think he loves me really.

It was during Covid years, and everyone was indoors so he became sort of like a new best friend.

He’s one of the only people I see really. I see him every day and I see my mum once a month.

Yeah it doesn’t really sound like they’re the best of friends there does it? Especially if he does this all the time? Kinda seems like Bernie is a bit of a prick and isn’t really embracing the relationship in the same way that she is. Wouldn’t really expect anything less from a seagull though. Bastards.

I know Hayley says that she’s chill as well, but it really doesn’t sound like she’s that cool with Bernie’s behaviour. She’s literally made a video and done an interview complaining about how much he’s hurt her! Give me a break here.

For more of the same, check out these seagulls off their faces on acid that caused chaos this summer. Something else right there.