Look at that face and remember it. You wanna know why? Because she’s harder than you. She may have a pussy but she’ll smash you everywhere and leave you crying, just like you were when you plopped out of your mother and tried to crawl back inside because you realised all those months of waiting inside that little cubby-hole weren’t worth it.
That face belongs to a woman who goes by the name of Veronica Rothenhausler, a female MMA fighter. I know, right? I didn’t know female MMA fighting went on, either, and we pretty much love MMA at Sick Chirpse HQ. It’s much better than watching the local slags ripping each others’ hair out on a Saturday night in town. You don’t have any of the annoying screaming either, or the sappy smashing-over-the-head-with-a-high-heel technique that many deploy. It’s all-out MMA action and most of the women who fight in it are scary as fvck – they could probably bench me, you and your gran at the same time. With one arm. While watching re-runs of Ren & Stimpy or something.
Rothenhausler is pretty scary as well. Especially when you see her fight. In one of her recent fights, Rothenhausler asked her opponent if she wants to touch gloves. Common courtesy, right? Well, her opponent, Ashlee Evans-Smith, was having none of it and refused to touch gloves because she’s a cunt or whatever. Rothenhausler must really like manners and gave Evans-Smith a lesson in them as with the first punch of the fight, she drops Evans-Smith with a cracking right and then keeps laying into her until the ref stops it all. It was her second 5-second KO of her career. The bitch can fight, homies. Check it: