A regular 9-5 can be stressful at the best of times. Particularly if you’re working in an office, because not only is it long, but it’s fucking boring too.
Sometimes the only solace is to do a round of teas and coffees – just to take a little breather and top up those caffeine levels.
However, one woman named Nadia Bokody has spoken out about the benefit of ‘masturbation breaks’ to relieve stress at work. Apparently she swears by it and urges you to do the same.
Nadia says she’s not alone in her kinky form of stress-relief, claiming that around 40% of employees do the same. Not really sure where she’s getting those stats from, but I’m sure there are a fair few people who do it – especially since everyone’s quitting smoking. Hey, you’ve got to find some way to get through the day.
Here’s what she had to say about the matter:
If it’s lunch time, I’ll head home for a quick dalliance with my vibrator (perks of living walking distance from the office).
But on the odd occasion I can’t wait that long, I’ll pop into the restroom, throw in my headphones, and silently surf some RedTube until my stresses are eased.
Fifteen minutes later, I’ll reemerge brighter and more focused, ready to tackle whatever the rest of the day throws at me. And it’s not just because I love masturbation.
The work-time wanker said that she took the advice of certain studies that have proven orgasms are better for the brain than mental exercises like Sudoku and crossword puzzles.
This is because, during a climax, blood flow is boosted to every single part of the brain, whereas mental exercises only stimulate certain regions.
In other words, if your employer wants to beat the 3p.m. workplace productivity slump once and for all, they should seriously consider implementing a f** break policy.
The fact is, what you do alone behind the closed door of your office restroom cubicle is really none of your employer’s business – provided you’re not doing it outside of your break time.
Well, I’ve got to say that I’m on board with Nadia’s philosophy. Working from home, it’s not really something I have to worry about – I’ve got my own fuck break policy and it’s in place all day, every day – but I can imagine that those who do work in offices would benefit from doing the same.
Just make sure you’ve got some good wanking material to hand – you don’t wanna end up like this woman.