Woman Who Made £147,000 Selling Her Farts Makes One Final Jar For The Queen



I’ve never really understood the market for people selling their farts, but apparently it can be quite lucrative after 31 year old Steph Matto from Connecticut managed to make £147,000 from the process.

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However, she was sadly forced to end her business after suffering heart attack symptoms after forcibly pushing out so many farts. Steph has been so moved by the death of the Queen though that she’s decided to get her butt out one last time.

She followed a strict diet of scones, venison, baked beans and biscuits and only drank tea for 24 hours and then farted into a jar and sent it to a UK customer for the price of £1735. Here’s what she had to say about coming out of retirement:

Her farts must have been lovely.

I’ve been out of the fart jar business for a while now due to health but I felt it was a good ode to the Queen.

It was from a customer in the UK and he paid $2,000 (£1,735) for it.

I wasn’t going to turn it down as I wanted to pay my respects.

He wanted me to only consume a diet of what the Queen would normally eat. Honestly I had no idea so I had to do some research.

I ended up eating some biscuits, jam, venison, and added lots of beans into my diet since I know that’s what the British eat.

I was actually having a bit of a mare as I found UK biscuits are different to the ones in the US.

But I managed to find some and ate like a Queen.

What with my experience, I have the authority to say her farts were lovely.

Lol. There have been so many ridiculous reactions to the Queen’s death in the last week but this has to be up there near the top as one of the dumbest. How the hell does someone have £1735 spare lying around to pay for this woman to fart in a jar? I gotta hand it to her because that is a hell of a way to make a living. She must be gutted that she had to stop doing it for the sake of her health.

Also kinda surprised that nobody is calling her out for saying that the Queen had lovely farts. There’s absolutely no way that all the royalists out there are allowing people going around saying that their beloved Queen was letting off stinkers all the time. Everyone knows that she never farted! Please.

For more of the same, check out this study that proves that smelling your partner’s farts is actually good for your health. Very important research.



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