Skydiving takes some balls. I’ve never done it because I have no balls; I’m a eunuch, a neutered dog, and I’m a pussy when it comes to heights and shit like that so it’d be kinda pointless me even trying to do it because I’d freeze and probably forget to pull the parachute and die a really sad death that would make the news. Oh well, at least I’d be famous for a bit, right? It’s a well-known fact that the best only get famous when they’re dead so I can kinda find solace in that. Perhaps I’d have a film made out of my life like Bukowski did or even have one like Mr. Nice or that really shitty one about the Queen. If any scriptwriters are reading this, hit me up.
Skydiving takes mega balls, but wingsuit racing takes balls the size of Russia or an elephant or something. These people have balls that size. They decided to race each other, after diving out of a plane, and reached ridiculous speeds of 140mph before landing on a relatively tiny piece of land to cross the finishing line – all in a wingsuit. The good thing for us is that it was filmed on a head-mounted video camera by a guy who calls himself DevinSuperTramp (be sure to check his YouTube channel out – top bloke) and the end result is a really cool video that shows us a super-awesome view of the race that’ll make your arsehole cringe and you can pretend you’re one of the divers too, which is all that matters, really, isn’t it? Check out their balls: