Everyone knows that WWF/WWE owner Vince McMahon is one of the wackiest billionaires on the planet, but I don’t think anyone’s taken the time yet to actually compile all the mental stories about him in one thread.
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That’s where this guy Allan comes in. He’s decided to put every crazy Vince McMahon story he could find into one thread on Twitter and it makes for some pretty entertaining reading. Maybe you’ve heard a few of them before like how Vince hates sneezing because he thinks it shows weakness or how he eats steak wraps for breakfast, but there’s a lot more in there too.
My personal favourite is how Vince is so bloody competitive that he refuses to lose to anyone… even his own face:
Paul Heyman, where he talked about VKM’s competitiveness. Vince supposedly has a world class thick beard, but shaves constantly. Heyman asked Vince why he doesn’t just let the beard out and save himself the trouble.
Vince’s answer, “I can’t let it win.”
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Or how he refuses to lose to Olympic world champion weightlifter Mark Henry:
Vince invited Mark Henry to a workout session. Bear in mind that Mark Henry’s claim as world’s strongest man is based on the fact he is the only man to have competed at top level Olympic Lifting, Power Lifting and Strongman competitions (1/2)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince tried to out rep him on every exercise. Henry went along with it because he’s competitive and even admitted that Vince tested him a little bit.
Mark says that he actually quit before Vince did
Vince phoned Mark in great pain and admitted he had made a terrible mistake (2/2)— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Another one about how much he hates to lose:
The McMahon’s playing pool at their holiday home in Boca. HHH and Steph against Vince and Linda. It was supposed to be a fun family game and Vince turned it into a serious competition. HHH and Steph kept getting lucky and were winning. (1/2)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince was getting mad at Linda because she was making their side lose. Eventually Stephanie ended up potting for the win and he cracked up and stalked off.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Then later that night she called him through the intercom and sang ‘You’re tied to the whipping post, dad’ to piss him off and from their bedroom, Steph and HHH could hear him literally screaming in anger on the other side of the house.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
And some of the rest:
Vince hates sneezing. When someone sneezes, he yells at them and tells them to control themselves. On the rare occasion Vince sneezes, he angrily mutters to himself and loses focus for a few minutes (Paul Heyman, on Jericho’s podcast)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince once raced former WWE writer @courtbauer on an open highway. Vince boxed in Court so that Court was heading straight for road construction. Court had to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. Vince sped off, having “won” the race by almost killing a guy.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince went bowling with an NBC exec. The guy had done something Vince didn’t like. Obviously since they were bowling, they were wearing bowling shoes. Vince sneaked off, got the guy’s real shoes from behind the counter, tossed the shoes in the garbage and left. (1/2)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
The guy had no idea where his shoes were and had to go home wearing the gross bowling shoes. Vince contacted him later and said “That’s what you get, pal!”. The guy wrote a book and said that Vince was the biggest jerk he’d ever met in real life. (2/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince, as a prank, had real police “arrest” Jonathan Coachman for running a betting pool at work. Coach said when the cop car finally turned around and brought him back to WWE HQ, he openly wept in relief and rage.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince got wasted at a strip club and let the Hart Foundation hit their finisher on him, and they hit him really hard.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince said something insulting to Kofi on a plane, and Kofi didn’t do anything. As they were getting off the plane, Jericho told Kofi that if he didn’t confront and fight Vince immediately, Kofi’s career was effectively over in Vince’s mind. This was how Vince tested his talent.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Former 90210 writer Larry Mollin joined Stephanie’s creative team. They were in a meeting with Vince. Vince was talking, Larry was nodding. Stephanie pulled Larry out of the room. She told him, “You need to stop nodding. VINCE HATES NODDING. (1/2)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
She explained that if there’s one thing Vince hates, it’s “yes men”. This is extra hilarious because everyone always says that Vince is surrounded by yes men. Poor Larry lasted just a couple of weeks (2/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince was hesitant to hire Gail Kim due to her being Asian. Jim Ross convinced him not only because of her in ring talent, but the fact that many men are attracted to Asian woman and that there are even lots of Asian porn sites on the internet. (1/2)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
This apparently shocked the hell out of Vince, who had no idea Asian porn sites existed. (2/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Tiger Ali Singh complained to Vince about making him wear a turban and traditional Indian garb, telling him it was offensive to his people and a desecration. Vince replied “You and D-Lo are gonna put on those fucking turbans, I don’t care about desecration”.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
JR once farted in a car with Gerald Brisco, which made Brisco start gagging and throwing up. Vince heard about that, so backstage at RAW one night, he tried to fart and make Brisco puke. It backfired, and Vince shit in his pants.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
“I look at eating as fuel. I’m not that conscious of the protein I eat, but I know it’s a lot. I think cheat meals are very important, so I do it about once a week. When you cheat, go for it. It’s important from a psychological standpoint. Oreos are my favourite cookie….”
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
“…I’ll eat an entire box. And my philosophy is that the body can assimilate only so much in a given time. If you have two or three Oreos every day, not good. But if you eat an entire package of Oreos at one time, it’s OK. It just passes through….”
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
“… I’ll eat pasta loaded up with meat sauce. Pizza. All the carbs you stay away from normally, load ‘em up. I will gorge. It’s almost like I will force-feed myself on a cheat meal. And afterward I think, “Oh, my God, I don’t want to feel like this.”
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Chris Jericho said he took a picture of Vince sleeping at an airport. He showed the picture to Vince who demanded he delete it immediately.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
One time he got drunk and urinated on Ric Flair’s hotel bed.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
CM Punk told a story of when he, the Undertaker, JBL, Edge, and Vince all had to room together when they were doing Tribute to the Troops, and Punk couldn’t sleep because everyone was snoring, except for Vince, who kept laughing at his own farts.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
RE: See No Evil: Vince wants this scene in the movie where Kane’s character pulls out his penis, and he wants it to be three feet long.’ I thought there was a connection problem, I said ‘Greg, can you just back up and repeat that last line for me?’ (1/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
He goes, ‘Yes, Vince wants Kane’s penis to be three feet long, and none of the producers are saying anything about it.’ (2/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Jim Cornette was at Vince’s house & Vince had somebody from the cable company working on the TV because the sound wouldn’t work. The guy came up to Vince holding the remote control and explained to him what a mute button was and that the mute was on. Vince gave him a $100 tip.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince had Tommy Dreamer call Sabu about doing One Night Stand. Vince was on the line but he was quiet and Sabu was asking for too much money. Vince then said to Tommy” Tell Sabu TO FUCK SABU.”
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
They were in a creative meeting trying to come up with ways for Big Show to job while still looking strong. One idea was someone would spike his burrito. Vince was shocked, not for the spiking, but because he had no idea what a burrito was.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Here’s an extract from his Playboy interview:
MCMAHON: I remember, probably in the first grade, being invited to a matinee film with my stepbrother and his girlfriends, and I remember them playing with me. Playing my penis, and giggling. I thought that was pretty cool. (1/4)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
MCMAHON: That was my initiation into sex. At that age you don’t necessarily achieve an erection, but it was cool. At around the same time there was a girl my age who was in essence my cousin Later in life she actually wound up marrying that asshole Leo Lupton, my stepfather (2/4)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
MCMAHON: Boy this sounds like Tobacco Road. Anyway I remember the two of us being so curious about each other’s bodies but not knowing what the hell to do. We would go into the woods and get naked together. It felt good. And for some reason I wanted to put crushed leaves into her
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
MCMAHON: Don’t know why, but I remember that. I don’t remember the first time I had intercourse, believe it or not.
PLAYBOY: Your growing up was pretty accelerated.
MCMAHON: God, yes.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
PLAYBOY: Your stepfather beat you?
MCMAHON: [Nodding] Leo Lupton. It’s unfortunate he died before I could kill him. I would have enjoyed that.
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince kept walking by and Curtis Axel had his foot out and Vince would just step on his foot on purpose and keep walking. He’d keep talking and walking, come back, step on his foot, boom, keep walking and talking, step on his foot again, repeat…
(1/3)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Eventually, Vince just turned around and was like, ‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’
McGillicutty was just like, ‘Sorry, sir.’
(2/3)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince was like, ‘No, no, no, no. You don’t know what I’m doing! I’m stepping on your foot on purpose as I want you to say something. I’m waiting for you to stand up for yourself.’ (3/3)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Wade Keller once talked about meeting Vince McMahon. He went up to his office and walked in to find The Chairman eating pizza. Nothing unusual there, everybody eats pizza. But what was unusual was how embarrassed and mortified Vince’s face looked upon being discovered. (1/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
He looked like a little kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. With fear in his eyes, Vince told Keller, “Wade, you can’t print this.” As if pizza eating was some groundbreaking and news worthy gossip headline. (2/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Vince called his creative team and demanded them to immediately take a flight to his Florida home for an urgent meeting. No one knew what the meeting was for, but figured that it had to be important. Hours later, upon arriving Vince refused to let them in his home. (1/2)
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
Strangely enough, Vince had decided that a meeting wasn’t necessary after all and just like that, everyone had to take another flight back to Stamford for a meeting with Stephanie McMahon. They never found out why Vince called them down to Florida to begin with. (2/2).
— Allan (@allan_cheapshot) May 6, 2019
There’s even more stories in there if you want to click through to Allan’s thread. But I think it’s pretty clear to see why people refer to Vince McMahon as a crazy genius all the time. The guy is absolutely off his head.
P.S. Remember the time he wrote a storyline that involved his real life wife going senile while he cheated on her with Trish Stratus, who he then made get on all fours and bark like a dog in the middle of the ring? Good times:
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