One of the many good things about owning a cat is that a lot of girls find them cool as well. They’re really good ways of adding that extra bit to your chirpsing. Like, when you do manage to get that girl into your house it’ll be something like this when she walks in and sees your cat lounging on the settee or whatever, just doing what cats do:
‘Oh my god, you never said you had a cat!’
‘Yeah, well, I didn’t think it was a big deal…’
‘You should have said, I love cats. Look at him just lying there!’
And then, when she walks over to stroke your cat, there’s another conversation starter right there.
However, if things go to plan and you manage to chirpse the girl into your bed, never EVER let the cat jump on the bed. It’s a bit embarrassing when you’re in the middle of shagging and you feel some rough as fvck tongue lick your balls. Not that I would know, though… Threesomes are cool and all that but it gets a bit fucked-up when animals get involved don’t you think?
If the girl’s playing hard-to-get and your chirpsing is starting to run out (if this happens get a grip, man!) then perhaps showing her this video will help. The moment she finds it cute then BANG get in there. Don’t fvck around. So, this one’s for all you chirpsers out there with a cat, and a lady who you’re finding hard to please. Oh yeah, and it sort of helps if she’s into cool Pixar stuff. Good luck, amigos.