I have to go through the same process of waking up every single morning, and that involves one of two scenarios, unless it’s one of those really shitty mornings and I have to experience both. Today was one of those days.
The first scenario is being woken up by my cat attacking my feet. Now you may think ‘grow a pair you god damn pussy’, but seriously, my cat doesn’t just play with my feet, he straight up clamps his big old nasty teeth right around my toes and scratches them with full force. When you’re in the middle of REM sleep this is not cool. I put my high blood pressure and nervous disposition down to this routine of waking up most mornings.
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If I’m lucky though I get to wake up through scenario #2, which involves me being awoken at 7AM on the dot by my T.V. turning itself on and blaring Sky News into my ears at an unholy volume for that time of the day. You’ve gotta imagine being in pretty much pure silence for 7 hours before being abruptly bombarded with Eamonn Holmes’ unsettling accent out of absolute no-where. The fact that Sky News are usually reporting about paedophiles, horse meat or the news that North Korea is about to nuke the rest of the world it really isn’t the ideal ‘zen’ way to start the day. Whatever. It works. It gets my heart pumping faster than a slug of Peruvian flake and doesn’t give me a nervous come down 30 minutes later. Plus, every morning I am thankful that I’m not waking up in any of the ways seen in the video below.
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This video’s called ‘The Ultimate Wake Up Prank Compilation’ and boy does it deliver. Get ready to witness some of the most messed up ways of waking up your buddies, which I’m pretty sure could cause heart attacks and/or other means of ending the victim’s lives. Check it out:
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