Sunday Sport will always remain a complete mystery to me. Firstly, who the fuck reads it? I’ve never met anyone who actually uses this clickbait scandal generator as a genuine news source, but still its stories just keep on pumping away.
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But I think this publication should be recognised more widely as a source of consistent humour. Their headlines will continue to remain some of the funniest one-liners ever thrown out into British media. ‘Sex with Greggs pasty boiled my bellend’, ‘World War 2 bomber found on the moon’, and ‘Did Hitler send monkeys into space’ are just a few examples of the blatantly fabricated stories that have been thrown out of this rogue newspaper. How do they get away with this shit?
Unbelievably, in an interview a couple of years ago, editor Nick Appleyard said:
If one of my reporters made up a story, I’d sack them on the spot.
Pull the other one mate. Judging by these corkers below, you must be firing staff left, right and centre:
1) Safari horrorshow
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2) Italian Stallion
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3) The burning question
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4) How did we not hear about this scandal before?
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5) Haute Cuisine
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6) Ed, you dirty dog
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7) Burst his bubble
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8) Manhunt
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9) The history books will be rewritten
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10) The headline that has it all
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Phew. I think I need a lie down after that. How much bumming, boobs and bellends can you fit into one newspaper? A lot, by the looks of things.
For more British institutions, check out the six reasons why Wetherspoons is the most reliable UK pub of all time.
