The Human Scarecrow – Best Job Ever


I am so jealous of this guy. He just chills out in a field all day. It’s like a constant festival but without all the bell ends and crap music.


Once you’ve finished University you realise that you have been vomited from a lovely warm bath of booze and friends into the freezing cold, Crocoshark infested, cess pit of life. You’re broke and have no idea what to do next. Many will end up doing what I did and working in a call centre or any of the other faceless office type jobs people get stuck up to their chests in.

It slowly dawns on you after a year or so that no one gives a flying fudge whether you’ve spent three years attaining a piece of paper with pretty, squiggly writing on it. There aren’t any good jobs anyway. Literally no good jobs in the whole wide world. They are all dog shit and that’s life. University is done, so you may as well kill yourself.

That’s how I felt anyway.

But not Jamie Fox in Aylsham, Norfolk, oh no. This boy has landed on his feet big time. He got a degree in Bangor and has now bagged a job as a real life, human scarecrow. He sits in a field and plays his ukulele, watches the deer, reads, chats on the phone to reporters, plays the accordion and occasionally scares off marauding pheasants and partridges.

Human Scarecrow - Accordion

That is a FUCKING awesome job. You try and tell me he hasn’t smoked a bifter or two…. try and tell me… you can’t. He’s probably totally blazed right now. One quote from him says that this morning “I watched a squirrel for a while”. Brilliant. I didn’t get to see a squirrel at work this morning, do you know what I did this morning? I talked to dickheads about guff on the phone for hours whilst listening to the creaking and wailing of my ever shrinking dignity. That’s my life. What would you prefer? Squirrels or guff? SQUIRRELS EVERY TIME.  The Guardian says he has the “ultimate dead-end job” but they’re twats.

Human scarecrow - Graduation


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