Confessions is back! Send your confessions in at [email protected] or DM us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Everything we publish is 100% anonymous – just give an alias you’d like us to use.

Let’s go…

kay jay

I had a Pornhub tab pulled up on my phone because I had a wank before getting a haircut. When I got to said haircut and was sitting in the chair I told the girl I was going to show her a picture of how I wanted it cut. Luckily as I reached for my phone I remembered that Pornhub was going to be on the screen when I unlocked the phone so I made an excuse that I had to step out quickly to call a client. When I went outside to “call the client” I was so thankful I remembered because the video was a big oiled up black booty getting pounded.

BonerBoy

Back when we were about 13/14 we had a school disco and I ended up grinding with a girl way out of my league on the dance floor. Naturally at that age I got a boner as we were dancing but didn’t expect what happened next. She felt it rubbing up on her and started freaking out and shouting that I had a boner. Proper attention seeking drama queen style. Everyone made a massive deal of it and I was known as “boner boy” for a while afterwards, even the teachers knew about it

[no name]

When I’m bored I sometimes find collaborative playlists on Spotify with names like “Praise & Worship” and add the filthiest, sweary songs I can think of to them.

brasswallet

I went home with a woman in her late 40s (I was 22 at the time) and when we got to hers her 15 year old son was still awake. He had a go at her from the top of the stairs about being drunk and being a shit mum while I sat on the couch pretending I couldn’t hear him. I’d love to say I did the right thing and left but there was no way I wasn’t having sex with her. Still felt bad for the kid though.

gorllswynn

Probably got a total of 5 hours work done this week but still getting paid for 40 regardless

Chapseye88

I got with a Chinese girl once who pulled my boxers down, started laughing and went “oooh, so big!”. I’m barely 6 inches so I still don’t know if she was being sarcastic or thought I was big because she’s Chinese and only ever seen little ones

[no name]

When I fill up with petrol, I always try and land the counter on an exact round number like £20.00. If I overshoot by a couple of pence, £20.02, then I always put in a few pounds more to take it up to a ‘random’ number like £23.47 so the cashier won’t know I tried and failed.

twotone

I’m attracted to literally all of my girlfriend’s girlfriends

Vicesq

I was at a mate’s house party, so drunk that I was conked out face first in the garden. My friends thought it’d be funny to tell this girl there (a soft 5) that I thought she was fit and was waiting for her in the garden. Anyway she actually came outside and started shaking me to wake me up and eventually I accepted her assistance, not knowing what was going on. Got up, went inside, she ended up playing with and sucking my limp penis till I fell asleep.

MichaelTT

I used to be really fat and recently lost a ton of weight. At a mate’s birthday recently I ran into a girl who used to cuss the shit out of me in school and she’s BALLOONED the fuck up. I can’t begin to tell you how awesome that made me feel. Not really a confession but my proudest moment!

still a coward

When I was 8 the school bully started on me on the school bus and I literally pissed my pants out of fear

yoshi 2022

I don’t need porn anymore. Instagram does the trick for me.

sharing is caring

When I was 17, I was shagging a friend of a friend. One night, after many drinks, I mentioned her to my best mate, and turns out he’d been slipping her one too. We congratulated each other and high 5’d. 10 years on, he doesn’t like it when I mention the girls name in front of his wife, but I’ll still raise my hand hoping he’ll high 5 me back.

nonchalance

I take at least 3 shits a day, and sometimes up to 6 or 7 for a few months now. Should I be worried?

marga man

My mates got into a fight with this group of pricks in a nightclub once and I was so scared of getting battered  (never hit anyone in me life) that I hid from the action until it was over. Once it all died down and we regrouped I had to pretend like I was panting from exerting so much energy and was inspecting my knuckles like I’d just caused some serious damage.

bttomupz

I just turned 25 and measured my dick for the first time since college. I honestly think my dick has shrunk since I was 18 or maybe I just fooled myself back then with where I my pelvis ended and dick began.

Packman

Occasionally I cum in my girlfriend’s butt hole – it’s something we both enjoy very much. The last time we did it though she goes “watch this” and then farted my spunk back out of her butt. I think she thought it would turn me on but I found it absolutely disgusting. I think she’s gotten way too comfortable around me and I don’t like it

Mylifeisamess

I quit my job 2 weeks ago now but am scared to tell my parents in case they kick me out, instead of being honest I go and sit in my car down the street for hours at a time.

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You are forgiven. See you next Friday.

[Send your confessions in at [email protected] or on our social media pages – don’t worry, we keep them 100% anonymous! Just send an alias if you want us to use one).