Sick Chirpse Reader Confessions #184

Admit what you did.

The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box – every week we’ll be posting our favourite ones.



A work mate invited me to the Peak District to go hiking with him and his dog, which I thought was a little odd because we’ve never really hung out before. Regardless I went but couldn’t shake the feeling that he had a plan to kill me out in the woods. I had a pocketknife in my pocket which I was ready to use the whole time. Turns out I was being paranoid — lovely guy just a bit quiet.



I make coffee at home before work and put it in an old Starbucks cup so people won’t think I’m poor.

extreme introvert

I’m such a hermit that if there was nothing about coronavirus on the news and internet I would barely notice its impact on the world around me.



I was on the train when I noticed someone get off while leaving his Russel & Bromley shopping bag beside his seat. Instead of notifying him I waited till he was gone and the doors had closed and bagged myself a new pair of pricey shoes. Score!


Sometimes I won’t like my friends pictures on Facebook/Instagram because I’m jealous of how many likes they have.



Me and my girlfriend thought it would be funny to put a crunchy up her vagina, until it snapped. I had to enlist the help of my sister to hold open her vagina whilst i spent 20 minutes trying to get it out. She is no longer my girlfriend.


Naked Girl

I thought swordfish were fictional creatures until last week.




I’d been really depressed since the new year and was thinking about killing myself. Then coronavirus happened and  it has given me a new lease on life. I want to stick around and see what happens. Sometimes it feels like such a surreal reality that I wonder if I already did kill myself and am living in an alternate reality. If you think I’m crazy don’t post my confession.



I wipe my arse standing up after taking a shit and had no idea this was odd until my friends told me





I used to think that fax machines sent your piece of paper through millions of underground pipes and tubes before reaching their destination.

Fake Preggers


I told a wicked lie at 16 that I got pregnant and had a miscarriage and everyone was really supportive. Nearly 6 years later I still can’t bring myself to tell them I made it all up, and I really have no idea why I did in the first place.

[no name]

My girlfirend broke up with me after 9 years and she was well out my league im worried ill never have sex again the worlds a different place now

White Black


I can’t watch black girl porn unless there’s a white dude boning them.


Leave your confession(s) for next week in our submission box HERE.

See you next Friday!


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