FOOTBALL

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League Week Four Round Up

Sick Chirpse fantasy football

Heres a summary of the good and the bad from last week in fantasy football. If you had Gervinho then you had a great week, I find it hard to believe anyone did though.

Sick Chirpse fantasy football

I know we probably should have published this round up sooner than the day week five is due to start, but the truth is that AMJ normally does it but he went on holiday for two weeks and told me I had to do it, but I completely forgot about it until now, so I’m writing this kinda drunk on Friday night, so please excuse any spelling mistakes or laughable factual mistakes. I’m trying to recall what happened last week in the Premiership – I don’t think I even watched Match of the Day shockingly for some reason – and write about it, gimme a sec.

OK yeah that was it, it was the weekend where idiot supporters of idiot teams (Arsenal and Aston Villa fans) got woefully overexcited about their team’s respective ambitions for the season. Sure, beating any team 6-1 is pretty respectable and a fun time yeah but when it’s Southampton and they’re bottom of the table and haven’t even got a single point yet it’s hardly time to declare that you are now ‘title contenders.’ Everyone knows what’s going to happen with Arsenal, they’ll do pretty well all season then drop off towards the end when Podolski gets injured or they concede a last minute penalty at Birmingham or get battered by PSG or someone in the Champion’s League. Same old.

Still, if you had Gervinho in your team – which I’m sure NOBODY could have actually done – or Podolski – slightly more likely – then you cleaned up at the weekend. But Arsenal have Man City away and Chelsea at home in their next two games so don’t all rush to make those transfers huh. Sure, the gunners have been uncharacteristically solid at the back this season, but they haven’t played anyone that great yet so don’t say I didn’t warn you.

And as for Aston Villa, well, where do I start? A 2-0 victory against Swansea – with questionable keeping from Michel Vorm to blame for both of their goals, and the second goal only coming in the 90th minute – has Villa fans all over Birmingham talking of a new era and how they might win the FA Cup this season. Yeah right, give me a break. Let’s see what happens when they become the first team to lose to Southampton this weekend. At least this match went some way to proving the point that Michu is not going to be the consistent badass this season that everyone seems to thinks he is after a couple of fairly lucky goals. I reckon he’s got 5 more goals in him tops, which is still decent I guess but you might as well pick Kevin Nolan or someone instead.

Other matches….surprisingly Chelsea couldn’t get through a stubborn QPR backline led by victim of racism Anton Ferdinand. Great, justice for Anton etc etc, now can everyone shut up about pre-match handshakes please? Oh no wait, we have another one to look forward to this weekend with Luis Suarez squaring up to Patrice Evra, another victim of racial abuse. Boring. Talking of Luis Suarez, he found the net again last week at Sunderland and is going to play every week without fail as Liverpool don’t have any strikers, so maybe it’s not a bad idea to stick him in your team huh? Evra was dropped/rested at the weekend and his replacement Buttner (who?) managed to bag a goal, so if Evra has been the first name on your teamsheet for a while as he is a bastion of consistency in fantasy football, maybe it’s time to think about moving him on? Squad rotation amongst the big teams really, really pisses me off as you just never know who’s going to play or anything. I mean Javier Hernandez got two goals last weekend and could have had three if he knew how to take a penalty, but who the hell would even have been able to guess he was even going to start? It’s crazy.

Defoe also banged two in last week so maybe if you need some strike power stick him in your team. I think Adebayor is injured so Spurs aren’t gonna drop him, although you never, ever know what AVB is gonna do really do you? I don’t really know what happened in any of the other games last week and I can’t be fucked to look it up so let’s hope nothing too important did.

As for my team – Timw_brap KILLAS – we’re sitting safely in midtable which is pretty surprising considering how dog shit my team is. Why the hell did I think it would be a good idea to put Darren Bent in my team? Or Juan Mata?? Neither of them have done anything.  And Colocinni is fvcking injured, I really should have taken him out of my team huh? I’m making some serious transfers when I get up tomorrow.

As for the league, all the teams at the top of the table have shit names with Gavin Rappaport’s team ‘POO’ staying in the top spot for another week. Tom Sands’ terribly named Prison Break FC – who have you got up front mate, Lincoln Burrows? – stay in third whereas Huw Barker’s team ‘Haven’t Got A Clue Ville’ somehow move into second. Take a snapshot boys, it won’t be like this at the end of the season:

1 Gavin Rapaport Poo 208 36 15 3443
2 Huw Barker Havantgotaclueville 200 48 14 5765
3 Daniel Ostridge Ajax Treesdown 196 41 13 7452
3 Tom Sands Prison Break Fc 196 37 13 7452
5 Trevor Brenson Rjbs Xi 194 43 13 8395
5 Alex Prince Prince Boatengs 194 23 14 8395
7 Tom Shipley Apocalypse Dudes 184 46 16 15323
8 Emma Craig The Only Way Is Emma 183 46 11 16267
9 Luke Skidmore Bunchofslugs 177 47 13 22908
10 Peter Jones Joner 176 36 12 24211
11 Richard Dulieu Dyslexic Cf 170 35 9 33122
12 Terry Buckingham Real Madras 163 33 11 45798
13 Piers Dixon Dixon Balls Fc 162 33 9 47812
14 Dave Ward Pimp My Side 158 23 12 56568
15 James Blundell Blundells Boys 153 25 9 68794
16 Ross Stearny Stearnpots Barmyarmy 152 30 10 71286
16 Johnny Callow Room 362 152 26 5 71286
18 AlexanderMark Jones Dunblane Massacres 151 32 9 73877
19 Billy Mclean Barcemoaner 150 36 10 76605
20 Charlie Hey Tiki Taka Jazz Cats 147 27 10 84663
21 smart les Lemon Peng-Win 146 45 9 87317
22 Dan Filer Clubtropicanadrinkfc 145 34 8 90103
22 John Ryan Obi – 1 Kanobi – 0 145 22 8 90103
22 Alex Crawshaw Crawshaw’s Commies 145 20 11 90103
25 Anthony Ward Park Ji Wonders 144 28 8 92917
25 Daniel Guy Dans Witwickys 144 27 7 92917
27 Neil Williams Lumpers And Kickers 141 14 7 101428
28 Huw E Dynamo Kebab 140 29 6 104458
29 Ross Williams Tepee Town Fc 138 24 9 110389
29 Mark Endicott Real Madreadfull 138 22 11 110389
29 Bobby Peliza Bobbydazzlers 138 20 6 110389
32 Shane Tremlin Trems Trash 137 35 8 113429
33 Max Sheppard Fred West Ham 136 31 8 116437
33 David Williams Muffin Stuffers 136 22 10 116437
35 Michael Magee Mickey T Fc 133 24 6 125302
36 Nikul Patani Brown Bear United 132 31 8 128135
36 Elliott Henderson Barsenal 132 27 6 128135
38 Shaun Williams The Galacticos 131 41 5 131149
38 Mohamed Hussein Why Always Me Fc 131 38 7 131149
40 Sam MartinRoss Martin-Boss 130 28 7 134177
41 Josh Watkins Bluesbrother 129 31 7 137138
42 Ryan Williams Dirty Buffalo 128 32 5 140177
42 Matthew Stewart Fc Boosh 128 31 8 140177
44 Drew Walsh Real Socielad 127 38 6 143128
45 Lee Walsh Keansakunt 126 27 10 145996
45 Thomas Foley Unbelievable Crisps 126 20 10 145996
47 Blake Walton Walton Wonders 125 33 6 148919
48 Anthony Ford 4 Dimensions 124 25 8 151826
49 Redwan Elharrak Real Talk 123 35 6 154680
50 Robbie Atkinson Diables Rouges 121 31 7 160397
50 Patrick Grayson Real Aycliffe 121 29 7 160397
52 Nestor Schischka The Winning One 120 27 6 163265
52 Christopher Davies T Dogg’s Ball Hoggs 120 24 6 163265
52 Tim Williams Timw_brap Killas 120 14 8 163265
55 Jeff Ingle Jeffentus 119 36 6 165959
55 James Martin Tourist Attraction 119 25 7 165959
57 Luke Henderson Luke Ronald Fc 118 22 7 168689
57 Martyn Aeissame Gratuitous Fc 118 20 5 168689
59 Aaron Hicks Proud’s Prodders 117 28 7 171339
59 Ben Lawson Spunkin Fc 117 15 6 171339
61 Louis Day Spews Stars 116 31 9 173990
62 Daniel Haviland Warriors 115 30 3 176553
62 Ben Rowland Atheist Fc 115 24 8 176553
62 William Rowe Keefy’s Krunchers 115 22 10 176553
65 Jamie Sadur Skid Mark 114 39 7 179022
66 Daniel Watson Sirbobwouldbeproud 113 24 3 181478
66 Craig Abbs Team Abber 113 23 7 181478
66 Nick Reid Onone United 113 14 5 181478
69 Ryan Addams Fish Fillet 111 25 6 186282
70 Matt Morris Morris Fc 110 29 5 188629
71 Jon McLeish Bayern Bru 109 23 4 190943
71 Dean Webster Blues 109 19 8 190943
73 Nick Randles Quallo 108 33 5 193193
73 David Hewitt Football 108 30 5 193193
75 Dave Bunker Team Bunker 107 32 7 195368
75 James Roberts Woopwoop United 107 32 4 195368
77 Mark Guy Butchys Tanks 104 27 7 201568
78 Ashley Townsend 1 Manning 1 Cup 103 22 6 203547
79 Luke Wyborn The Wombles 99 11 3 210831
80 Nicky Greenhow Boomerwanger 97 24 3 214257
81 Richard Gilbert Queefstars 96 27 4 215858
81 Maxwell Hughes Maxibon United 96 17 7 215858
83 Danny Sharpe Team Sharpey 95 22 5 217376
84 Jack Hopwood Fc Kaiser 94 17 4 218835
85 John Hawkins Mmmmcustard 93 23 5 220307
86 Toby Dennett Dennethinaikos 92 18 2 221674
87 Christian Adofo The Mandem 91 30 3 222954
88 John Twinn Pav Fc 90 16 3 224214
89 James Tootill Bigdonfc 89 19 4 225461
90 Tomn Pitts Gareth Keenan Troops 87 16 5 227736
91 Sam Lister Inter Thevan 86 19 2 228728
91 Michael Sinfield Fc Scorgasm 86 8 5 228728
93 Alex Taylor Leave-My-Arse-A-Lona 80 9 6 234105
94 David Armitage Real Betties 75 13 2 237434
95 Wes Holden Green Fc 74 29 5 238029
95 Tyler Casey 50 Shades Of Goals 74 26 0 238029
97 Steve French Anal Villa 72 23 0 239150
98 Theodore Morgan Dangalangtime 65 11 5 242190
99 Nick Bourne Greenham Royals 59 24 2 244138
100 Matthew Hurley 12fort 48 16 3 246478

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