FOOTBALL

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League Week 27 Roundup

The FA Cup is sick but watching football highlights on ITV is testament to putting sandpaper to my dick. Nevermind all that though – here’s this week’s fantasy league roundup.

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Week 27 is over and so are most of the 5th round FA Cup ties so we get to pretty much return to normal this week – bar the Swansea Bradford League Cup Final. I love the FA Cup but is there anything worse than having to watch ITV football highlights with adverts instead of beautiful Match Of The Day with Gary and  the boys? Due to there being less games than your average weekend the points were few and far between unless you have a silly amount of Liverpool/Chelsea players in. David Williams’ Muffin Stuffers racked up a cheeky 48 point taking them to 1102 and just two points off the top ten. Peter Jones had another good week with 50 to take his Joner to 3rd continuing his onslaught on the league – only 14 points off top now – thanks to having pretty much the Chelsea starting XI. Big props of the week go the way of Michael Magee’s Mickey T FC with 76 points to move him up to 26th – you can literally chart his trajectory and he only has good weeks if Liverpool do – hence being 26th place cos they’re fucking shit.

Sat 16 Feb 2013 – FA Cup

Sun 17 Feb 2013 – FA Cup

Mon 18 Feb 2013 – FA Cup

Sun 17 Feb 2013 – Premier League

We said Arsenal would score goals a plenty and boy were we wrong – what an absolute shower of shit – congrats to Blackburn for getting through to the next round. Oldham did battle hard as we thought and were going down to an expected 1-2 loss until they managed to snatch a goal at the end resulting in a replay at Goodison. Man City returned to form and for the Sergio Aguero faithful your love has been repaid as he banged in a load of points to try and help them forget about their terrible Week 26. Wigan didn’t struggle like we thought and stuck 4 past a lacklustre Huddersfield.  United beat Reading as expected but arguably the biggest upset of the weekend actually happened in the only Prem game as Swansea put out an absolutely garbage team and let Liverpool win a game at Anfield.

BIG HITTERS

hitters

A constant thorn in the side of Swansea on the weekend and the talisman for a lot of Liverpool throughout Sunday’s FA Cup Fifth Round game. The Uruguayan scored and assisted two including getting hacked down in the area and hit a total of 13 points for anyone who has him in their fantasy team. Big JT has come back with avengeance…even if it was against a third tier team. The man famed for cheating, racism and great tackle/s has come back into the Chelsea stronghold and sured them up to the extent that they kept their first clean sheet since January VS Stoke (in terms of Fantasy Football) – he also bagged Chelsea fourth in their second half drilling of Brentford. Although 11 may not seem like too much you gotta consider that he also helped out any other Chelsea backliner that you might have into their clean sheet. Big in the game. Finally, the best score in the fantasy league this week came courtesy of Manchester City’s cheeky little Argentine, Sergio Aguero. 2 goals and an assist seen him rack up 15 points and return the faith of the punters as well as take City into the next round – he will be shitting points again this weekend for sure.

BIG SHITTER

Swansea-defence

 You might be in the League Cup Final, you might be pretty high up in the league, you might be everyone in the UK’s second Prem team, but you really shouldn’t lose 5-0 to a shower of shit like Liverpool. I won’t go into too much detail but reserve team or not you should not let such a below par team make you look pathetic. Michael Laudrup will have to win the League Cup comfortably to justify what happened to his team. I just feel bad for any Swans fans that made the trip up to watch that shit.

Here’s this weekends fixtures:

Sat 23 Feb 2013 – Premier League

  • Fulham v Stoke 12:45
  • Arsenal v Aston Villa 15:00
  • Norwich v Everton 15:00
  • QPR v Man Utd 15:00
  • Reading v Wigan 15:00
  • West Brom v Sunderland 15:00

Sun 24 Feb 2013 – Premier League

  • Man City v Chelsea 13:30
  • Newcastle v Southampton 13:30

Mon 25 Feb 2013 – Premier League

  • West Ham v Tottenham 20:00

Fulham will beat Stoke 1-0. It will undoubtedly be shit. Arsenal will attempt to put the embarassment of being out of the League Cup, FA Cup and Champions League by attempting to claw back 4th place from their rivals Spurs by beating the worst team in the Prem – they do. Norwich get a goal but fail to beat an Everton team who grind out a draw despite the Toffees being clear favourites. QPR attempt to play the Julio Cesar is sick card again but RVP has had enough and bags a brace – UTD win. Reading remind Wigan that they cannot score 4 every week as ALF steps up to slot a pen passed Wigan to put them 5 points away from the Royals who also jump out of the drop zone. West Brom beat Sunderland. Shit game. Aguero tears Chelsea apart but cannot capitalise so the Juan Mata show takes over, draw at the Etihad. High scoring game as Newcastle are held to a draw by the Saints. West Ham’s assholes drop out and Spurs grind out a 1-2 win. Yid army.

Here’s how the league looks this week fuckers:

Super League Table

Sick Chirpse

League PIN: 8009937

Return to league page

POS Manager Team name Total points Week pts Starting
XI pts
Starting
XI pos
Goals Goal Pos Overall Position
1 Shane Tremlin Trems Trash 1191 22 905 107864 72 86427 25736
2 Tom Shipley Apocalypse Dudes 1181 27 1013 30140 85 18559 30811
3 Peter Jones Joner 1177 50 934 83451 75 67512 32951
4 AlexanderMark Jones Dunblane Massacres 1174 28 888 122409 86 15589 34647
5 Tom Sands Prison Break FC 1163 36 932 85123 83 25763 41275
6 Huw E Dynamo Kebab 1162 15 888 122409 74 73767 41847
7 Ryan Williams Dirty Buffalo 1116 36 928 88462 69 105646 75116
8 Emma Craig The Only Way Is Emma 1111 47 875 133196 66 124626 79113
9 Nicky Greenhow Boomerwanger 1105 34 778 198674 69 105646 83884
10 Johnny Callow Room 362 1104 9 963 60756 71 92898 84677
11 David Williams Muffin stuffers 1102 48 1055 14005 74 73767 86161
12 Huw Barker HavantGotAClueVille 1101 25 1098 5377 75 67512 86972
13 Gavin Rapaport Poo 1094 34 942 76904 75 67512 92563
14 Drew Walsh Real SocieLAD 1091 18 1000 36934 67 118261 94937
15 Lee Walsh KeansaKunt 1087 29 831 167285 76 61417 98154
16 Matthew Stewart FC Boosh 1076 22 890 120679 72 86427 106985
17 Alex Prince Prince Boatengs 1068 39 942 76904 74 73767 113331
17 Billy Mclean Barcemoaner 1068 25 875 133196 75 67512 113331
19 Jeff Ingle Jeffentus 1064 35 679 226864 72 86427 116451
20 Robbie Atkinson diables Rouges 1059 33 759 206813 68 111975 120255
21 Ross Stearny stearnpots barmyarmy 1044 41 919 95983 63 142309 131293
22 Dan Filer ClubTropicanaDrinkFC 1043 38 1010 31713 65 130717 131993
23 Alex Taylor leave-my-arse-a-lona 1039 45 787 194238 75 67512 134794
24 Luke Skidmore bunchofslugs 1038 24 897 114702 71 92898 135596
25 Terry Buckingham Real Madras 1037 37 875 133196 72 86427 136291
26 Bobby Peliza bObbyDazzlers 1035 34 882 127392 61 153697 137674
26 Michael Magee Mickey T FC 1035 76 1061 12374 66 124626 137674
28 Trevor Brenson RJBs XI 1033 14 1033 21396 58 169850 139062
29 Dave Ward Pimp My Side 1031 23 925 90996 64 136416 140387
30 Shaun Williams The Galacticos 1026 43 1010 31713 57 174946 143780
31 Anthony Ford 4 Dimensions 1023 25 814 178729 57 174946 145773
32 Redwan Elharrak Real Talk 1018 29 1018 27785 57 174946 149045
32 Nikul Patani Brown Bear United 1018 26 1018 27785 70 99302 149045
34 Blake Walton Walton Wonders 1015 30 937 81046 60 159233 150899
35 Ryan Addams Fish fillet 1010 19 684 226140 62 147984 154082
36 Jon McLeish Bayern Bru 1007 18 925 90996 58 169850 155951
37 David Hewitt football 1006 20 897 114702 60 159233 156546
38 Max Sheppard Fred West Ham 1003 21 843 158511 64 136416 158406
39 James Martin Tourist Attraction 1002 14 1002 35838 67 118261 158988
40 Tim Williams TIMW_BRAP KILLAS 1001 42 826 170695 67 118261 159579
41 Neil Williams Lumpers and Kickers 1000 42 882 127392 62 147984 160207
42 Ross Williams Tepee Town FC 999 38 949 71284 59 164691 160831
43 Martyn Aeissame Gratuitous FC 985 27 808 182442 56 179772 168826
43 Aaron Hicks Proud’s Prodders 985 18 813 179338 59 164691 168826
45 Mark Endicott Real Madreadfull 979 31 727 217228 60 159233 172085
46 Louis Day Spews Stars 968 16 968 57198 56 179772 177710
47 John Twinn Pav FC 966 34 836 163645 61 153697 178720
48 Sam Lister inter thevan 965 37 878 130690 61 153697 179202
49 Ben Lawson spunkin FC 962 10 921 94260 55 184343 180688
50 Ben Rowland Atheist FC 961 27 812 179998 63 142309 181184
51 Luke Wyborn The Wombles 954 38 732 215824 60 159233 184509
51 William Rowe Keefy’s Krunchers 954 35 906 107004 71 92898 184509
53 Ashley Townsend 1 MANNING 1 CUP 946 44 604 233443 51 201588 188265
54 Sam MartinRoss Martin-Boss 942 25 602 233534 60 159233 190068
55 Richard Dulieu Dyslexic CF 939 24 939 79372 52 197515 191451
56 Piers Dixon Dixon Balls FC 934 38 924 91807 48 212793 193605
56 Elliott Henderson Barsenal 934 30 849 153908 50 205491 193605
58 Toby Dennett Dennethinaikos 930 19 939 79372 45 222706 195249
59 smart les lemon peng-win 924 30 924 91807 53 193320 197737
60 Daniel Ostridge Ajax Treesdown 923 24 920 95099 50 205491 198123
60 Thomas Foley Unbelievable Crisps 923 40 840 160735 53 193320 198123
62 Matt Morris Morris FC 915 28 915 99340 61 153697 201358
63 Luke Henderson Luke Ronald FC 914 43 822 173384 53 193320 201755
64 John Ryan Obi – 1 Kanobi – 0 912 29 912 101932 61 153697 202588
65 Dean Webster Blues 907 17 836 163645 46 219586 204444
65 Danny Sharpe Team Sharpey 907 13 907 106134 57 174946 204444
67 Patrick Grayson real aycliffe 904 9 904 108735 57 174946 205552
68 Charlie Hey tiki taka jazz cats 894 42 894 117254 54 188851 209164
69 Anthony Ward Park Ji Wonders 890 40 798 188420 51 201588 210667
70 Christopher Davies T Dogg’s Ball Hoggs 888 33 756 207973 40 235923 211345
71 Daniel Haviland Warriors 878 58 878 130690 37 242051 214740
72 Mohamed Hussein Why Always Me FC 877 32 823 172737 45 222706 215056
73 James Blundell Blundells boys 872 34 720 219083 55 184343 216620
74 Jamie Sadur Skid Mark 858 26 888 122409 43 228477 220856
74 Michael Sinfield FC Scorgasm 858 32 858 146889 53 193320 220856
76 John Hawkins Mmmmcustard 856 29 726 217522 49 209207 221452
77 James Roberts WOOPWOOP United 846 30 822 173384 31 250146 224250
78 Daniel Guy Dans witwickys 844 33 844 157739 36 243737 224792
79 Daniel Watson SirBobWouldBeProud 830 39 803 185540 39 238108 228480
80 Jack Hopwood FC Kaiser 829 31 826 170695 37 242051 228722
81 Christian Adofo The Mandem 823 18 823 172737 52 197515 230158
82 Richard Gilbert Queefstars 818 36 818 176069 39 238108 231281
83 Nick Randles Quallo 813 8 813 179338 37 242051 232365
84 Steve French French FC 810 40 810 181219 37 242051 233021
85 Nick Reid OnOne United 801 12 801 186726 38 240122 234931
86 Maxwell Hughes maxibon united 799 15 797 189005 41 233585 235314
87 Alex Crawshaw Crawshaw’s Commies 792 24 825 171402 46 219586 236612
87 Dave Bunker Team Bunker 792 29 682 226411 48 212793 236612
89 Josh Watkins bluesbrother 790 51 790 192713 33 247924 236994
90 Mark Guy butchys tanks 761 27 743 212501 43 228477 241824
91 Theodore Morgan DangALangTime 752 18 752 209473 46 219586 243089
92 Nestor Schischka The Winning One 749 28 650 230229 28 252851 243465
93 James Tootill BigDonFC 745 37 776 199534 24 255395 243923
94 Wes Holden Green FC 728 13 728 216966 32 249083 245812
95 Tomn Pitts Gareth Keenan Troops 722 9 722 218592 32 249083 246473
96 Nick Bourne Greenham Royals 716 4 716 220030 37 242051 247083
97 Craig Abbs Team abber 700 24 700 223461 31 250146 248458
98 David Armitage Real Betties 679 28 679 226864 37 242051 250004
99 Matthew Hurley 12fort 637 18 637 231401 41 233585 252286
100 Tyler Casey 50 Shades Of Goals 631 34 636 231480 21 256710 252537

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