Do you ever walk down the street and think: “Yep the owner of that car is blatantly ‘bang tidy’, I would love to tuck into a piece of her quiche?” Yeah, me too, apparently everyone does! Self-consciously we automatically judge people based on the car they currently drive and everyone else we know that drives them.
Adzuna – (a search engine for classified ads which makes it easier to find the right car for you) – conducted a survey this month across car drivers within the UK to show what people really think about the cars their friends, neighbours and colleagues drive. Through doing this they have even created a ‘Snog, Marry and Avoid of British car drivers’.
Now at first when I heard about this survey I thought I could have predicted the answers. E.g. Mini drivers — wankers. Porsche 911 drivers — tiny dick wankers. Audi TT drivers — hairdresser /estate agent, tiny dick wankers!
However, I was wrong. It turns out that 100% of the northern men agree with me – keep clear of the 911 drivers. However the northern women have opted for the Audi TT drivers as the ones to go for when you want to get married — This goes for 60%of all Londoners too. So this sparked a few thoughts in my head
a) My knowledge of what cars are cool is dire (my 206 circa ’96 isn’t exactly getting me an influx of girls)
b) My knowledge of what girls think is sexy/ really unsexy in a car is way off the mark. What I do know is that if you had one of these you would probably get a vertical 69 while driving — even though the dude in the photo looks like a class A penis!
So if you think your car game is on point you may want to think again. Check out how sexy your car makes you appear. When I was writing this article I was trying to Google related images so I typed in ‘sexy car’ and hit search. This unfortunately came up with a whole load of girls getting spit roasted on top of a car bonnet. However….. Google also came up with these awesome photos….
Introducing Dirty Car Art —
When you are brought up in a small countryside town, like I was, your car gets covered in shit…. the whole time and sometimes this is literally shit. No one wants to wash that off themselves so they usually go to a car wash….Well not artists like this dude Scott Wade who you might as well call the da Vinci of dust:
He loves the dirt! He loves it so much he makes amazing pieces of art just by removing certain sections of dirt from people’s cars. He started doing this on unsuspecting people’s cars; however it wasn’t the usual shit comment edged ‘I wish my wife was this dirty,’ it was really impressive artistic images and so instead of people being annoyed at him vandalising/ graffiti-ing (in a way) their cars, they loved it. and this form of art soon became a big hit with photos of his artwork being shared all over the internet.
He does a huge range of pieces. From his own take on existing art pieces:
To football legends:
To jokes ones where girls appear to be stuck in the back of the car.
There is a whole load of his ‘paintings’ ( I have no idea what form of art they are classified under) here. For now just check him out in action:
Follow Tom Gatenby: @TomGatenby1