Last night we had a chance to get to know some of the worst women in the world, in the Channel Four ‘documentary’ ‘Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys.’
This show revolved around a bunch of young women who call themselves ‘rinsers,’ which means they seek out naive, rich men and pretend they are going to bang them, but then give them the cold shoulder once they stop getting free stuff. They spend the whole episode sounding like really shit escorts, who provide menial small talk with a glimpse of cleavage to old men in exchange for decadent gifts. The old bastards must have blue balls bigger than their wallets after a few dates with these women – they keep turning up with bags of shiny gifts then these chicks bounce after half an hour, before they even get to touch any inflatable tits.
These women are essentially magpies, scouring the earth for shiny objects. In one scene the scouse one, Jeanette, and her group of harpies caw around a new Cartier watch which reminded me of nature documentaries where apes would use sticks as rudimentary tools to dig out peanut butter from a stump. Instead, Jeanette uses her tanned body and fake chebs to dig up a new watch to impress her group of skanks. Plus it occurred to me that it sort of undermines the whole concept of owning expensive things as signifiers of wealth when everyone knows that you got it free from some horny old dude.
Hollie from Mansfield works as a dancer in what looks like the worst club in the world. She explains how she looks for potential sugar daddies whilst wobbling around on stilts wearing clothes that look like a Black Swan Halloween outfit cobbled together using fifty pence. She also moonlights as a ‘financial dominatrix’ – at one point some mug pays her two hundred notes to tell him he is a fat waste of space who makes no money over a webcam while her MUM watches!? Er, what?
Danica (pictured above) was probably the most attractive, although did have those huge stuck on tits I thought died out in the 90’s, like Britpop. Danica is a glamour model for FHM and other shit outdated ‘Lad Mags’ and makes mad ducats on the side without even meeting anyone – for example she charges fifty quid just to speak to her on webcam (where she remains fully clothed). She spends most of the episode making awkward small talk with someone in a car park while sat next to her massive lipped sister, looking like two of Mick Jagger’s forgotten children.
Interestingly Jeanette the one from Liverpool and Hollie the one from Mansfield both had young children. They use this as an excuse for their behaviour, but clearly haven’t really thought this through, I mean how long could this potentially last as an income for their family? What about when their skin looks like an old handbag and their fake tits have slumped down to their belly button? Which rich old geezer with be wining and dining them then? I’m pretty sure they aren’t the only single mums in Britain and the vast majority provide for their kids without pimping themselves out for Jimmy Choo’s.
If you missed it, it’s on 4OD so check it out if you can handle watching programs where you wish everyone on screen was being horrifically maimed.