CHIRPSES

Rage Quit

Achievement Hunter’s Michael Jones lets video-games get the best of him.

The best thing about the internet , and more so YouTube, is that any motherfucker can get famous, sell adspace, and market themselves. I like how these days if I do wish to watch something it doesn’t have to be some godawful and predictable soap, or worse yet a Reality TV Show in which a prisoner shits all over his bedsheets (was it just me watching Strangeways on Channel 5?) or a shy girl is willing to talk about/show her genital herpes to Dr. Christian Jessen (Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies has ruined too many meals for me to justify its existence).

Thankfully I was lucky enough to discover the Rage Quit series a few months ago at work; someone had literally searched for ”Rage Quit Fable 3” on Google, and as a fan of the game I was naturally curious…

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp2n-aWFTVk’]

This is basically a foul-mouthed twenty-something trying to arrange a quest or some shit on Fable III with his buddy, and its fvcking funny as shit how this guy tried his hardest to rationalize the physics of the game as he gets more and more pissed off, before quitting in a red mist of rage, screaming ‘where is the get-me-the-fvck-out-of-here button?!!’

Let me introduce you to Michael Jones (pictured above), employee of Roosterteeth’s (a Texan production group) sub-channel Achievement Hunter and serial rage-quitter. Achievement Hunter is a community based website that releases achievement guides, easter-egg videos, and other game related videos; they all feature highly on YouTube. Many people believe Michael’s raging is totally fake; yet it is this guy’s actual job to film himself completing video-games on ‘cuntishly difficult’ settings…the rage quits are totally genuine, and the producer decided to start editing Rage Quit videos.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioHWGJ_PKbQ’]

I can totally relate to this guy; I think I almost had a fvcking seizure when my mate put 2 goals past me on Fifa, but between the fucks, shits and assholes there is a strange eloquence to Michael’s rhetoric. When Michael finally climbs a burning ladder on Ninja Gaiden III, after a shit load of attempts, we hear him scream –

Thank fvcking Christ, aye I fvcking made it, I have no interest in playing this game whatsoever, the urge has completely left my body, I’m now going to soak in a fvcking bathtub filled with ice until I cry myself into fvcking frozen coma.”

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=335mX-RGosE’]

In another video, when Michael is playing The Impossible Game, he blurts out about the music –

”If I’m going to die, fvcking err; like 10, 20 or 4376 times, then at least I will die 4376 fvcking times listening to some decent goddamn music, not fvcking a bunch of fvcking fairies hanging around a goddamn harp fvcking cupid fvcking strumming and shooting out arrows in peoples assholes and shit, fvck that shit!”

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E96i-u_5E0′]

I think when the Rage Quit series started to catch on, with the intent of causing more rage, the boss at Achievement Hunter decided to give Michael the most infuriating and shitty games possible; these have included QWOP, Sonic the Hedgehog, Monopoly Streets, and Earth Defense Force 2017. To date there have been many, many pseudo-reviews posted by Michael Jones and his sarcastic attitude. While some people reckon this guy has the sweetest job ever (and he kind of does…), I do sympathize with him for the fact that he has to sit indoors all day playing these massively shit games, collecting all the dumb achievements, and always on the hardest settings.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H90UFbpR8Rk’]

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrWgDOipLJ8′]

All in all, Rage Quit is a pretty sweet YouTube series; I might not be so much into gaming anymore, but watching and listening to this lewd and obscene guy freaking the fvck out every couple of weeks makes my day. Below is a pretty funny clip where, instead of rage quitting, Michael ”pity quits”…it is a shitty fvcking game after all.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3toueEBtvg’]


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