The Pope Has Left The Building



Pope Benedict

The Vatican has announced that Pope Benedict XVI will step down from his balcony on February 28th and ‘entrust the Holy Church to the care of…Our Lord Jesus Christ’.

The reason for his resignation is reportedly ‘advanced age’ with Benedict’s brother stating – “His age is weighing on him. At this age [he] wants more rest.” I’m going to assume he’s using the word ‘wants’ in place of the more appropriate ‘needs’. Everyone wants more rest, even the people who have nothing to do, but generally we get on with it and continue to work. Leaving your job for a couple of extra hours of sleep in the morning is a stoner move if I’ve ever seen one and Benedict doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy to whack on the Hendrix and wrap up a fatty after a hard day’s Popein’.

So it seems the Pope has had to stand down due to ill health, but everything is a bit too sudden. To put the scale of this announcement into perspective, the last time a Pope resigned was Pope Gregory XII in 1415. That is pretty much 600 years ago. If anyone remembers the Battle of Agincourt from their history lessons at school, that’s the same year – when longbows were considered modern technology. The 15th Century was when Istanbul was still Constantinople, Christopher Columbus opened the route to The New World and the Ming Dynasty was in full swing.

So yeah basically it was a real long time ago.

This suggests the real reason for Benedict throwing in the towel may be much more interesting and hidden from the public.

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Maybe he’s come to some sort of realisation after ‘having repeatedly examined [his] conscience before God’ and wants to distance himself from the constant barrage of scandals. I can’t blame him, I would not want to be associated with validated and consistent claims of homophobia, sexism, racism and child molestation. Maybe he just figured out that science is actually pretty fantastic and contraception can help fight two of the world’s large problems – overpopulation and the spread of HIV.

Maybe he’s just having a change in heart towards his views after a recent topless protest in the Vatican opposed the Church’s Anti-Gay Marriage stance. Check it out below:

☛ Read This: The Pope Joins Twitter

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Whatever the reason this all means that come the end of Feb there will be space for a new leader of the Vatican and the Catholic church, and with it a new chance for argument as hordes of Catholics and religious skeptics alike find reason to doubt the newly appointed pope, although I’m sure the views of God that are relayed through the rookie will continue to remain unchanged as the world does the opposite.

Enough from me on the matter, let’s see how the people of the internet have reacted (Hint: It’s exactly as you’d expect) by checking out what everyone is saying on Twitter:

Twitter Equality

1) A well intended but unlikely request. Sorry Crocodile, I don’t see that happening.

Twitter Economy

2) A riveting comment on our Economical situation. Bravo.

Twitter Paedophilia

3) The inevitable paedophilia reference.

Twitter Beyonce

4) A reminder of the godawful society we belong to.

We’ll have to wait it out to see if any hidden agendas emerge, but I think it’s about time for a new scandal.

You can check out Benedict XVI’s full resignation letter here and come to your own conclusion.

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