Right let’s get to the bottom of this little ditty then, let’s see what has pushed this up the chart ladder and what message is conveyed within the meaningful lyrics.
Well the track starts off acoustically, the video has them walking in as the guitar is playing, two of One Direction walk in with guitars and then start playing guitars despite the fact that there’s already a guitar playing in the track. Harry Styles then takes a break from shagging Nick Grimshaw to play with some knobs. The video is shot in black and white, this is fvcking serious!
Zayn starts singing “Your hand fits in mine, like it’s made just for me!” Ok let’s stop here, hands fit in hands the world over, it’s not like an iphone charger, so sweet as it may be the first line is irrelevant… Lets continue:
“…but bear this in mind, it was meant to be, and I’m joining up the dots, with the freckles on your cheek, and it all makes sense to me!” Well at least it makes sense to someone, all I’ve got is that you’ve had a good gander at some girl’s face and you decided- of all the things to imagine – that you could join the dots – which are on her face – and make something that by all accounts makes sense. Ok…..oh hang on Liam’s about to say something, to the same girl I believe, are we at a romantic orgy here? So Liam what have you got to say? “I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile” (Ok….?) “You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs….” (Well I didn’t really pay much attention but since you brought it up….) “The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine!” (Fvcking hell Liam alright, forgot you were so fvcking perfect!)
So at this point the lady in their lives no doubt feels like a sack of shit at this present moment in time, not to mention unnerved at two people singing a half baked sonnet at her. She has no need to worry though because despite her failings they won’t let these little things slip out of their mouth (despite having just done that…for fvck’s sake) as they all add up to her and they are BOTH in love with her. So the story so far : two boys, one girl. Both boys list all her faults and then tell her it doesn’t matter which begs the question why even bring them up?
Having been somewhat impressed by the compliments/insults so far put on the table Louis decides to have a go “You can’t go to bed, without a cup of tea, and maybe that’s why you talk in your sleep…..” errrmmm ok move on Louis, this shit isn’t working out for you and you’re making a right tit out of yourself, let MILF Hunter have a go. So Harry, what lyrical prowess can we expect from you? “You never want to know how much you weigh, you still have to squeeze into your jeans!” Nice one Harry, there’s nothing that says ”I Love You’ than saying your object of desire has a fat arse! The rest of the song continues with them all loving her because of her fat arse etc…. which is an example of when you’ve said something you shouldn’t have and you’re hanging on for dear life to rectify the situation whilst you tell yourself you’re not actually in the wrong in any way whatsoever.
So the songs meaning – five lads like said girl, five lads list said girls faults but headfuck her by stating all five of them love her anyway, despite her many misgivings. Unchained Melody, this isn’t! Another note is that this was half written by Ed Sheeran, who has obviously been asked to staple his name to something One Direction related and probably found one of his long forgotten tunes stuck down the back of the sofa and saw no harm in letting it pollute the airwaves. But for all its faults, at least it hasn’t got Pitbull gurning all over it.