It seems like everybody in the world who has access to the internet/a radio/a TV/newspapers went wild for the Obama vs Romney presidential race. Everybody, that is, apart from me. I really couldn’t have given a flying fvck about the whole thing; I mean, America is always going to stick its shit-ridden-snout into everybody else’s business and wars whether Obama is the president, Romney is the president, Charlie Sheen is the president, or even if a fvcking pea is president. America likes to fvck things up and fvck up things up it does – apart from WWI and WWII and with the amount of quality writers that have floundered out of there – and I suppose that’s partly why I paid about as much attention to the Obama vs Romney thing as I normally would to any film that didn’t feature Nicolas Cage. Which is zero.
â˜› More: Best New Tumblr Find: Nicolas Cage Cats
As I said, though, (I actually typed it but fvck it) it seems that everyone went batshit crazy for the Obama vs Romney orgy and some idiots who I’m unfortunate to know were actually gloating about the fact they stayed up all night and watched the whole election thing go down. How sad is that? I mean, why watch something like that all night when you can watch Adventure Time or Ren & Stimpy or just fall asleep and have a brilliant wet dream? People just don’t make sense. Is it actually true that Mitt Romney is actually Stephen Hawking’s long-lost brother?
One woman who’s obviously gone nuts for the whole thing more than anybody else, ever, goes by the name of Millicent Owour. You wanna know why? She’s named her newborn twins Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. I know, right? That’s worse than being named Ivor Bigun or Mike Litoris or Willie Stroker, and those kids are definitely gonna want to kill themselves when they’re older, especially the one named after Romney because no-one’s gonna remember who the fvck he is in a matter of weeks, let alone years. What makes it more weird is that the twins were born pretty close to Kogelo (a village in Kenya) where Obama’s step-grandmother still lives and, when you watch the video, apparently a lot of Kenyans are naming their kids after Barack Obama. Seems like the kid named Romney is the odd-one-out in all this farce, definitely gotta feel a pang of hurt for the little fella.