(Props to Gizmodo for the .gif)
So earlier this week North Korea launched a ‘satellite’ into orbit. When we say ‘satellite’ we actually mean that we don’t know what the heck North Korea have just launched into space but North Korea claim that it was a weather satellite. We for one call complete bullshit on this. North Korea have been trying to launch ‘satellites’ into orbit for a few years now, and have failed miserably each time. They’ve also threatened to test out long range missiles which has caused a shit load of tension on top of the already shit load of tension that was in the area. Specifically between South Korea, Japan and China. We can only presume that North Korea testing out long range missiles means they’re testing out whether they can hit America.
So North Korea’s latest attempt to get something up into the air seems to have been some kind of success, to a degree. The ‘satellite’ did actually make it this time without blowing up or disintegrating after its launch, which North Korea’s attempts at ‘launching satellites’ have always seemed to result in. Officials from Japan and America confirmed that North Korea had indeed launched an object into orbit, shortly followed by the same officials declaring that whatever North Korea had launched into orbit was now completely out of control. This is bad news. This is bad news because for one, we don’t know what the fvck North Korea have actually launched into space. It could be a massive nuke for all we know. And if this nuke is tumbling through our orbit uncontrollably? Where will it land?
Here’s a photo of the so called ‘satellite’ that North Korea have just launched:
Does that look like a motherfuckin’ satellite to you?
This is also bad news because this thing could collide with another country’s satellite and no doubt piss a lot of people off. How would you feel if Kim Jong-un smashed up your satellite? You’d be pissed and would probably want to go smash up his country. Either way, it’s not looking too good. We’ve got 8 days left until the world ends anyway and I guess this is looking like the best bet as to why it’s going to happen.
Also, here’s the official news report that happened after the ‘satellite’ was successfully launched. Check out how crazy excited this news anchor gets at 0.46. Would you really get that excited over a boring satellite? No you wouldn’t. Would you get that excited over a nuke? Yes, of course you would.
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If you’re feeling a bit stressed about the whole end of the world malarky then read this and learn about the only safe place on earth come 21.12.2012.