Question: What do you get when you cross a billionaire’s daughter, a mutant government, an evil empire and an omnipotent oligarch?
Answer: The next Marvel comic book story shortly to be made into a film to slay all comic book film demons, after the nightmare that was the Green Hornet.
OK, that’s not true. Just like our good friend Rebekah Brooks (ex-editor of The Sun and current CEO of News International) I need to confess that I’m lying.
<!–Ads2–>What you really get when you mix this potent chemistry is a media scandal so uniquely horrifying that Frankenstein is out of a job. Permanently.
Now, when a story this sensational and distasteful hits the news it is usually bombarded with moralising rhetoric from every media quarter, making it difficult to walk past a newsagents without getting a knot in your stomach. I remember being so sick of seeing the word ‘superinjunction’ all over the papers that I was tempted to go on a mindless orgy of arson and destruction until every tabloid newspaper in my neighbourhood had been burnt to a crisp. Luckily I calmed down and just went in and bought some rolling tobacco and fruit pastilles, but you get my drift.
So it’s eerily disconcerting to have the perfect tabloid story — celebrity phone-hacking, corruption, bribery, politicians, police cover ups, child murder victims and their families, dead soldiers, behaviour of such a low moral order that even Ryan Giggs would shake his head — and yet the Murdoch owned News Corp group The Sun but also its nasty older sibling The Times is nowhere to be found. Not a peep out of them. You can hear a pin-drop.
Of course we all know why, but that doesn’t stop it being weird and highlights to the readers of both ‘news’ papers just how impossibly distorted Murdoch’s news empire truly is.
Luckily, to fill the void left by the censorship in the News Corp press, we have the new media outlets and social network platforms keeping the story at the top of every thinking person’s talking list, so the paper that uncovered the story (The Guardian), as well as the other parts of the press able to stomach these new revelations about our ruling elites are making sure it won’t go away until we get some answers.
So back to my earlier question — billionaire’s daughter, mutant government, evil empire and omnipotent oligarch. Well it is abundantly clear who the omnipotent oligarch is, and there are no points for guessing the evil empire or mutant government. Which leaves the billionaire’s daughter. What a strange addition to the story. I am of course talking about Jemima Khan, the heiress, ex-wife of Imran, friend of Hugh Grant and Associate Editor of The Independent, who has been on a crusade to nail News Corp ever since the first wave of celebrity phone hacking stories began to break. Being a highly connected woman of considerable wealth and power, Jemima is in the unique position of being able to take shots at Murdoch, News Corp and Rebekah Brooks without too much fear of having her life utterly ruined. I have no strong feelings about the woman but I am glad she is in a position to help unravel this unholy mess. So for the past few days she, along with thousands of others has been tweeting and posting and quoting in the quest to make sure that at the very least, there is a public enquiry.
But wait readers! In the time it has taken me to get the bus over to Trafalgar Square and walk through the thronging wizard masses gathered for the Harry Potter Premier, the next gift from the News Corp goody bag has arrived – OMG, !!!!!.
The British bastion of $ex, sleaze and Sunday worship is going down. Yep, you heard me. Just like David Haye, but without a dodgy toe, the News of the World is GOING DOWN. After Sunday’s final edition the newspaper that gave us ‘Footballer sleeps with wife….sorry, I mean hooker. SHOCKER’ is making its way over to the big newsagents in the sky.
But taking down the News of the World is not enough. We have to keep our eyes on the main prize, which is making sure Murdoch’s takeover of BSkyB is stopped. After all let’s be real here, the influence of the News of the World is nothing in comparison to the increased power Murdoch will wield over the British media if his News Corp is allowed to takeover the entire BSkyB network.
The deal is still in the pipeline and even in the face of all of this muck David Cameron, a good friend of Rebekah Brooks, has been caught with his moral pants down, as it becomes clear he is stalling, avoiding and overlooking what is going on in an attempt to protect his pals and keep the Murdoch empire sweet. This is all very bad news for his reputation as a leader, which may be irreversibly damaged. Leaving aside the morals of it all, it is just very poor judgement to be seen so close to such nasty people.
But the final question in all of this is……….will David and his mutant government allow the omnipotent oligarch Murdoch to take control BSkyB?
The answer may be coming to a hacked voicemessage near you…..