You Can Now Name A Cockroach After Your Ex For Valentine’s Day

They say it’s pretty hard being single on Valentine’s Day – it’s not really – but if you’re still cut up about your ex partner you can now choose to name a cockroach after them to celebrate the occasion.

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The service is being offered by Hemsley Conservation Centre in Sevenoaks and only asking for a £1.50 charitable donation in order to do so. To be honest, that’s probably worth doing just to name someone you know after them for the lolz because it’s such a cheap price – I’m sure you’ve already got a long list of contenders for the position whirring around in your head. You also get a certificate that you can present to them for maximum enjoyment as well.

Here’s the official summary from the Conservation Centre:

The start of 2020 let’s face it, hasn’t been great… and if you have been dumped recently it is even worse. But now it is time to cast those negative thoughts and feelings aside and to put a smile back on your face!

For those that don’t quite require revenge, there’s another way to make you feel better about getting back at your ex on Valentine’s Day. The HCC is offering the chance to name a cockroach in honour of your friend’s worthless ex- ‘someone’ on this special holiday of love for just £1.50.

We are highlighting these creatures through our ‘name a cockroach programme’ (we think adopt is a little too strong, after all – you probably don’t want to adopt your friend’s ex) to raise money for our projects at the zoo.

After your donation you will receive a downloadable certificate and we will include your ex’s name on our roach board which will be revealed on Valentine’s Day!

You can sign up to the scheme here, although in a bit of a cop out only your ex’s first name will be displayed. Not really sure what the point of it is if you can’t bask in the full glory of knowing that some little roach out there has your ex’s full name. Could be any old Joe, Dick or Sarah couldn’t it?