The Mystery Of The Utah Monolith Has Been Partially Solved

That didn’t take long.

I’m not gonna lie, writing about these weird monoliths that have been appearing all over the world has really energised me this last week because it’s been a while since something this weird and interesting has happened between the deluge of bad news that we’ve been faced with this year, so it’s kind of annoying that the following TikTok has been found explaining the disappearance of the one in Utah.

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TikTok user Sylvan Christensen is a Utah tour guide and uploaded the following video of him and three others taking down the monolith in the middle of the night and strapping it to a wheel barrow before wheeling it out of the area. They claim that they removed the monolith because they were worried about the potential damage that the monolith could do to the area with the increase of people biking, driving and flying there in order to see it. Spoilsports.

Check out the TikTok below, as well as a statement from Christensen courtesy of The Daily Mail:

@sylvanslacksStay tuned for more info ##fyp ##utahmonolith ##leavenotrace♬ Stranger Things (Main Theme) – I Love TV Themes

We removed the Utah Monolith because there are clear precedents for how we share and standardize the use of our public lands, natural wildlife, native plants, fresh water sources, and human impacts upon them.

The mystery was the infatuation and we want to use this time to unite people behind the real issues here — we are losing our public lands — things like this don’t help.

Let’s be clear: The dismantling of the Utah Monolith is tragic — and if you think we’re proud — we’re not. We’re disappointed. Furthermore, we were too late.’

This land wasn’t physically prepared for the population shift (especially during a pandemic).

People arrived by car, by bus, by van, helicopter, planes, trains, motorcycles and E-bikes and there isn’t even a parking lot. There aren’t bathrooms— and yes, pooping in the desert is a misdemeanor. There was a lot of that. There are no marked trails, no trash cans, and its not a user group area.

There are no designated camp sites. Each and every user on public land is supposed to be aware of the importance and relevance of this information and the laws associated with them. Because if you did, anyone going out there and filming the monolith and monetizing it without properly permitting the use of the land— would know that’s an offense too,


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A post shared by Sylvan Christensen (@sylvanslacks)

Yeah, you can’t really argue with a video like that can you – seems like he was definitely responsible. Love the way he used the ‘Stranger Things’ theme tune as well to make it even spookier.

And I suppose you can’t really argue with his explanation, even if it is a little soft it’s probably the right thing to do, even if a bunch of people are going to be upset they can’t visit this weird monolith anymore. Also fairly sure you’ll agree with me that it’s pretty disappointing that it was some environmental vigilantes that decided to pack it up and get rid of it rather than aliens or some global viral marketing campaign.

It does leave us with a couple of questions though, like where is the monolith now? Who put it there originally? And how has one popped up in Romania as well and followed the same pattern of disappearing shortly afterwards? Is someone just playing fucknuts over there and this really isn’t a big deal, or is it actually part of some global conspiracy/campaign?

I imagine we’ll know before the end of the week the way things are progressing. Really hoping it isn’t as lame as the explanation detailed in this article.

For more of the same, check out this report on the Romanian version of the monolith. Definitely something not right going on there.


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