My favourite part of the meal is when your waiter asks you how you are today. That’s when the game starts. One time I said I was having the worst day ever because I saw my dog eat its own shit. Another time I replied I had just won the world Boggle championship, but this was a mistake because I had to explain the rules of Boggle and listen to the equivalent game in some Eastern European land.
I do appreciate the waiting staff profession. They’re awesome to put up with all us dicks. And they do it with a smile. As long as you don’t get personally offensive towards them, you can say pretty much anything and they’ll continue to smile. Even if you tell them you’ve seen a video of a man fucking a goat trapped in a fence on the Internet, they’ll still smile and take your dessert orders.
Here are 10 of the most impressive waiters I have ever seen: