Mikael Silvestre Has An Absolute Nightmare On His MLS Debut

Mikael Silvestre Portland

The MLS has long been considered a joke of a football league, but more and more old pros seem to turn up in it thinking they can walk it bu then getting their asses kicks.

Mikael Silvestre Portland

I don’t know if anyone really gives a shit about the fact that the MLS started again last weekend but the fact that a former Manchester United and Arsenal (yeah I forgot he played for Arsenal too) player made his debut in it and completely screwed up and was pretty much directly responsible for his team conceding three goals is definitely an awesome story worthy of being mentioned on Sick Chirpse. The man is Mikael Silvestre and apparently over the summer (winter? January?) he decided to join the Portland Timbers, which probably have the worst team name in the MLS and also is probably one of the worst places you could live if you decided to join an MLS team. Smooth going Silvestre.

Anyway, Silvestre probably thought that playing in the MLS was going to be a doddle and he was probably going to be the best player on the team considering he signed for a crappy team like Portland Timbers. Unfortunately this doesn’t look like it’s going to be the case as Silvestre decided to be completely shit on his debut and leave the Timbers with a 301 deficit to try and claw back on their home opener. To be fair they were playing the New York Red Bulls who you would probably assume were one of the best teams in the league, but even so some of the mistakes Silvestre made were pretty appalling.

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Everyone is give him a hard time for the first goal but I don’t really think he was that bad in this one, at least compared to the goalie who 100% flopped it. Sure, if you’re a defender you probably shouldn’t play a short backpass to the keeper in a crowded area, but it was straight to his left foot so he could hoof it down the field, and it wasn’t exactly Silvestre’s fault that the keeper decided to pick it up and then realised it would be a backpass so threw it straight to a Red Bulls player who banged it into t he net. Still, Silvestre probably could have been a bit more decisive in his defending considering he played for Man United for most of his career.

The second goal definitely shows up Silvestre for being a complete and utter chump though as the ball is played down the wing to pretty much nobody and all he has to do is control it and send it back up the field. Instead of this though he completely misjudges the bounce and misses the ball and some Red Bulls player nips in and latches onto the pass and then bangs it into the corner. Whoops. The commentators try to be really nice to him about this one, saying that he probably isn’t used to playing on astroturf and that the balls bounces differently but I mean, come on, he still probably should have managed to stop it getting through. I mean he’s Mikael Silvestre FFS.

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The third mistake is pretty terrible too as a ball is crossed in from the left and Silvestre doesn’t react to clear it and a player standing literally right behind him pokes it into the net. I mean seriously, this is pretty shocking defending as he just lets the ball sail past him to the guy behind him who taps it in, I don’t think it’s as horrendous as it’s being made out to be though as I’ve seen defenders make those kinds of mistakes before and the way he is running if he got a foot on it there’s a good possibility he might have just diverted it into the back of the net himself. Still, the fact is he is a world class defender playing in the MLS and he screwed up pretty badly and it’s jokes. You can check out the video of his lowlights below.

I also added another really funny video below that of an interview with him immedaitely following the game where he tries to explain his mistakes and justify them but he just comes across as a loser with most of his answers. It’s probably just as entertaining as the actual video of him screwing up, so make sure you check that out too. There was also a tweet from some guy who calls himself an MLS analyst who said that Silvestre’s performance might have been the worst by an MLS player in history. Wow.

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