Mark Wahlberg Was Completely Wasted On The Graham Norton Show

That picture is of Mark Wahlberg sitting on Graham Norton’s lap and rubbing his nipples. Yeah, that happened. Watch the full show as Mark’s night spirals into an inebriated blur. It’s painful and hilarious in equal measure.

I know this is a bit late, especially because half of you will have already seen this live on Friday night and got involved in the Twitter storm that it triggered, but we missed it because we don’t really pay attention to things over the weekend – we’re too busy partying – and once again, I’m just making sure no one goes without seeing this, because it’s just too funny to miss. Don’t believe me? That picture up there is Mark Wahlberg sitting on Graham Norton’s lap and rubbing his nipples. Yeah, that happened.

For some reason people have been judging him as a person for his antics, and some media sites have been reporting on it like people were offended. I don’t really see the issue here. He’s not the first person to have a few too many glasses of wine and he won’t be the last. He’s obviously not used to being offered booze before going on live TV, which, in fairness, he points out to Graham at the top of the show, so I don’t really think there’s any cause to judge him. Aside from anything else, it makes for great TV, so for that we should be thankful.

He holds it together pretty well while Graham’s talking to him one-to-one, but as the others are talking and he carries on sipping, he really comes into his own. He started to get pretty sloppy all over the sofa and was flirting incessantly with Sarah Silverman, and it was painful and hilarious in equal measure. He also interrupted people’s anecdotes, challenged Michael Fassbender to a Boston-accent-off, asked Graham “Who?!” as he was introducing Laura Mvula, flipped the same woman out of the red chair 3 times and even found the time to have a few minutes’ kip.

Here’s the show in 3 parts, supplied as usual by GrahamNortonFan (cheers buddy), and I’ve given you some of Mark’s highlights underneath. Enjoy:

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4:38 – “Why would you allow people to drink alcohol and come on a show? … It’s a recipe for disaster.”

10:50 – The voice-contest challenge and the beginning of the flirting with Sarah.

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1:38 – The flirting moves out of joke territory into “Ok this is getting kinda awkward…”

2:50 – Ok, Mark, yeah, you’re definitely drunk.

7:00 – I don’t really get the joke, but as Sarah’s telling her bed-wetting anecdote, Mark starts shuffling down the sofa and eventually ends up on Graham’s lap, rubbing his nipples. So, there’s that for a while. Then when he climbs down he randomly picks up a microphone and offers it to Sarah as a dildo, leading Graham to adorably tell him to “behave”. And then Mark interrupts the story again and then they ended moving towards this awkward kiss thing and it’s just so freakin’ weird. And then Sarah notices Mark looking at her ass and Mark slurs, “I wanted to make sure your wire was still connected to your microphone…”

9:28 – I dunno what Mark mutters but Sarah’s getting pretty pissed off and Graham tells him to behave again. Oh and Michael hasn’t said anything for a while, he’s probably pissed off too.

10:27 – Mark is totally falling in love with Sarah over here. In case you didn’t watch his one-to-one bit at the start – he’s married with 4 kids, which multiplies the awkwardness.

14:00 – The guy is gone. Like, completely gonerz. Over the hill. Sailed off into the horizon. We’ve lost contact.

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1:00 – “Who?” …pahahaha!

7:40 – The red chair episode. “Why would you wear make-up to the gym?!” *SLAM*

So there you have it. Mark Wahlberg getting hammered and making a hilarious tit of himself on The Graham Norton Show. That’s put me in a really good mood. I hope it’s helped your day too.

Watch Next:

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