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Man Who Stole £22 Worth Of Sweets From Shop Facing Life In Prison

If you’re going to get life in prison, make sure you do something more exciting than this.

The state of Louisiana is the world’s prison capital, and with cases like this it’s no real surprise why.

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34-year-old Jacobia Grimes is facing 20 years — life in prison after he allegedly stuffed $31 (£22) worth of sweets into his pockets at a Dollar General store (pound shop).

A manager caught him red-handed and Grimes unloaded his pockets before his arrest.

As he has five prior convictions for petty theft, Grimes qualifies as a ‘quad’ offender which under Lousiana’s habitual-offender law, also qualifies him for 20 years — life behind bars. Gutted.

His lawyer says:

It’s not even funny.

Twenty years to life for a Snickers bar, or two or three or four.

I just think it points to the absurdity of the multiple billing statute. They’re spending their time to lock someone up for years over $31 worth of candy. It’s ridiculous.

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His previous thefts all involved stealing items worth less than $500, so fair to say the guy has pretty low aspirations as far as being a career criminal goes. Getting caught so many times would suggest he’s not very good at it either. In fact I’d go as far as to say that Jacobia Grimes is the worst criminal of all time. The guy’s dumb as fuck. How do you get yourself in a position where you’re facing LIFE IN PRISON because of $31 worth of sweets? He should be locked up purely for being such a doughnut.

If I were him I’d come up with a better story for the other inmates as to why I’m doing life in prison, that’s for sure.

I wonder if he’ll bump into the most useless thief of all time – filmed HERE trying to rob someone at knife point and failing miserably.

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