An Argentinian man has died after having sex with a scarecrow that he had fitted with a 6 inch strap on. 58 year old Jose Alberto had also painted the scarecrow’s mouth with lipstick and given it a wig before getting stuck in.
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Police found Jose dead, lying next to the sexy scarecrow:
I initially thought there were two bodies but then I realised one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig. It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis. There were no signs of violence and we are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow.
Straw had been stuffed inside the old clothes that had been sewn together to make the scarecrow. We are now waiting the results of an autopsy.
I think we’ve all done some weird kinky stuff in our lives that we’d probably be embarrassed if anyone found out about, but this is just something else. Even weirder than the dude who has sex with a tree before he goes to work every morning. Just keep in mind next time you’re feeling ashamed about your own sexual kinks; there’s people out there who strap dildos onto scarecrows and then fuck themselves with it. You’re super normal in comparison.