Kathryn Bigelow – Male Gigolo?

Kathryn Bigelow VS Bret Easton Ellis via Twitter. Is she really just an “overrated” director? Is her critical acclaim based on the fact that she’s a “very hot woman” – Bret Easton Ellis thinks so…

Anyone who follows Bret Easton-Ellis on Twitter would be forgiven for thinking that he had been victim to somewhat of a meltdown over the past few weeks, but anyone who has been reading his novels over the past two decades would be forgiven for thinking the same. He has a knack for doing as he pleases and letting his opinion on just about everything out without a second thought — and this week hasn’t been any different.

The latest victim of BEE’s wicked and often remarkably accurate tongue is Oscar-winning director of The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow, whom he labelled “overrated” intimating her success was done to the fact that she was a “very hot woman.”

BEE is no stranger to the scandal especially in the Twittersphere — as over a year ago he accurately described Glee as “a puddle of HIV” and most recently ripped Les Misérables and its cast apart after watching what he described as “2 hours 40 minutes of tacky.”

Where his novels, such as American Psycho, once spawned accusations of misogyny, sexism and downright puerile thinking he has now had the same reaction to his most recent rants regarding the Zero Dark Thirty director. We did an article on Zero Dark Thirty a couple weeks ago if you wanna know more about it — shock horror it’s another Bigelow film about the war — this time the killing of Osama Bin Laden.

What began as a mere mention that Zero Dark Thirty will go over well with critics – but won’t win the Best Picture Oscar (as BEE feels it will go to (David O’Russell’s) Silver Lining Playbook) – ended in the writer ostracising himself once again from a chunk of Hollywood.

BEE went on to say: “Kathryn Bigelow: Strange Days, K-19: The Widowmaker, Blue Steel, The Hurt Locker. Are we talking about visionary film-making or just OK junk?…Kathryn Bigelow would be considered a mildly interesting film-maker if she was a man but since she’s a very hot woman she’s really overrated.”

A lot of Twitter did not respond too well to BEE’s opinion and even Prometheus screenwriter Damon Lindelof replied with, “#BretEastonEllisIsAnEffingMoron.”
So here are a run-down of old Kathryn Bigelow’s best films…see what you think:

Near Dark (1987)

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Arguably not where it all started as she did a biker film with Willem Dafoe called The Loveless (1982) before this – but that really was litter. Near Dark is the story of a young guy, Caleb (played by the guy out of Heroes who can fly – Adrian Pasdar), who tries to pull a hot young blonde girl in a bar and ends up befriending a family of travelling evil vampires that she is with. Not one of the stand-out vampire films that have stood the test of time – as it was released in the same year as Joel Schumacher’s The Lost Boys (1987) – so in most horror fans eyes died a death as a result. Not badly directed though – but certainly not worth writing home about unless you are a massive Bill Paxton fan.

Ellis 1-0 Bigelow.

Blue Steel (1989)

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No she didn’t direct Zoolander but her 1989 shower of shit Blue Steel could well have been a joking reference by Ben Stiller to the “point blank thriller” starring Jamie-Lee Curtis. Although she does kill Michael Madsen right at the start this film – it never really gets past two miles per hour. You’re left constantly wondering why Michael Myers is not coming around the corner with a carving knife or Arnie with an AK-47? I think when Bret Easton Ellis described this as “OK junk” he was flattering Bigelow as I think I’d rather watch Freaky Friday.

BEE on Blue Steel:

OK junk.”

Ellis 2-0 Bigelow.

Point Break (1991)

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One of my first articles for Sick Chirpse described my dismay at the thought of them remaking this film – and I stand by it – what a movie. Keannu Reeves looking confused for 120 minutes as Johnny Utah, a chick who looks like a boy who is super fit, Swayze as “Bodhi” the leader of the Ex-Presidents who are surfing bank robbers – this film has it all. Some of the props have to go to Bigelow on this one as there is no way you can put some of the proven worse actors in the world in a film about surfing bank robbers and make it feesable – she even gets Gary Busey to act – despite all the crack. Well done Kathryn, not just a pretty face.

BEE on Point Break:

The best movie Kathryn Bigelow has made so far–and by a long shot–is the deliriously campy “Point Break” but I’m afraid to watch it again.”

Okay, it was fun twenty years ago: I can’t sit through “Point Break” now. But, my God, Keanu was beautiful and Kathryn Bigelow knew it…

Ellis 2-1 Kathryn.

K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)

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Sorry to say that she did not in fact direct the WWF great Barry “The Widowmaker” Windham – but rather the film based on the apparent remarkable true story of Russia’s first nuclear submarine and its malfunction on its maiden voyage. The film is on occasion quite gripping but the whole way through you kinda know that there isn’t going to be a nuclear disaster as it’s based on a true story and chances are you would’ve heard about it or had it taught to you in history at some point…p.s. it’s got Liam Neeson and Harrison Ford in it and when do they both ever die in a film?

BEE on K-19: The Widowmaker:

Are we talking about visionary filmaking or just OK junk?”

Ellis 3-1 Bigelow.

The Hurt Locker (2008)

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A compelling and heart-wrenching film about the horrible cat-and-mouse games in the midst of war that an Army bomb squad must play – in a city where every person and object has the potential to mean their death. I have to admit when I first watched this movie I thought it was excellent but was still very suprised at the fact that it won the 2010 Oscar for Best Director. I could understand it making a push for best screenwriter and beating out Tarantino and his Inglorious Bastards – but when it came to Best Director I was stumped.  For it to tip the scale over James Cameron for Avatar, Tarantino for Inglorious Bastards and even Jason Reitman for Up In The Air floored me. However, I’ve gotta give this one to Bigelow as the movie is directed well even if Bret Easton Ellis thinks she won it for being a woman.

BEE on The Hurt Locker:

If “The Hurt Locker” had been directed bt a man it would not have won the Oscar for best director.”

Ellis 3-2 Bigelow.

In theory Bigelow won the Oscar for Best Director for the vision she showed in The Hurt Locker at a time polarity around the wartime agenda was in flux. At no point has she, or I imagine would she ever claim that the other 4 films we’ve mentioned are anything close to The Hurt Locker – and I suppose time will only tell on the critical reception that Zero Dark Thirty receives.

I haven’t watched the latest Bigelow film so will reserve judgement until then, but I have watched Silver Lining Playbook and Bradley Cooper reprises his role as Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers beautifully and De Niro might just get an Oscar nod for his supporting role. So although BEE may be coming across as insane at this moment in time with his Twitter ramblings – there may still be a shred of sanity in there for his 364,215 loyal followers – as his last tweet read:

to anyone following me who seems confused by the terrain? I took the red pill a long, long time ago…”

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