The Japanese Love Mentally Scaring Kids

Child Crying

Japan doing what they do best – crazy TV. This time with added zombies and the tears of infants, WOO!

Child Crying

OK so prank shows are nothing new. End of the world zombie apocalypses aren’t either and in fairness the two go together pretty well. I mean imagine watching people attempt to fend for their life against the undead with nothing but a bottle of Tabasco sauce and cling film. Pretty fucking hilarious, IF you can make it believable. All you need is someone gullible, someone with a vivid imagination ,someone that hasn’t quite developed a coherent sense of reality, or adult teeth. Say, a child? Well guess what they did on Japanese TV this time….

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Now I’m not a psychologist, in fact I barely even know who Freud was, but if there’s one thing you aren’t supposed to do with a kid, it’s scare the shit out of it to an “impending death/brain eating/general zombification” level. I’ve seen enough Dexter to know if you let a ‘dark passenger’ into a child’s life it’s probably gonna screw them up a little and make them all genocidal.

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In their defence the kids are HARD AS FUCK, (it’s almost as if the military are scouting for protection from another Godzilla rampage) and a bit more fear could have done me good when I was younger I reckon. Maybe it would mean I could defend myself with more than the ubiquitous “OMG LOOK AT THAT” / run the fuck away technique, but there’s definitely some middle ground. Children get affected by much less than death, stuff that doesn’t matter is a pretty big deal at that age. When ‘The Simpsons double bill followed by Fresh Prince’ era of BBC2 ended I sulked for weeks unsure of what trials and tribulations the rest of my days could possibly have that would be worse. If my life was cancelled rather than that quality TV lineup, I don’t even wanna imagine the huff….

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At the end of the day you shouldn’t parade your kids on national TV defending their life whilst a presenter laughs and taunts them. Or maybe you should cos I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty god damn funny.

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