The Gentleman’s Guide To Becoming A Pseudo-Intellectual

Intellectualism, it’s all the rage these days.

Moleskin Pad

We’ve all been there at some point, stood in the middle of Waterstones, wondering what on earth we are doing with our life, and vowed then and there to change; bought a moleskin pad; and wrote ten goals we wanted to achieve in that year. This of course was the first and last time we ever opened it, but good news, it will come in handy. Nothing says ‘I write down my important thoughts’ like an expensive pad made from the skin of a mole hanging out the front pocket of your jacket. Write down every joke you hear throughout the day and save them for the sitcom you currently writing.

Red Wine

The creative medicine of many a great man, wine is the cornerstone of any thinking gentleman’s diet and a great way to determine your superiority over the riff-raff. It is important to develop at least a superficial knowledge of tasting notes for when with company, and this knowledge can be gained for a mere £21 for two people on Groupon. Surprise them by claiming you can taste chamois leather, balsa wood, and Incubus’ 2nd album. Assert your authority at every available opportunity, as nothing gets a girl hotter than you publicly rebuking her laughable choice of wine — ‘come on darling, everyone knows 2011 was a dreadful year for Cab Sav’. Just as a female rocks a tattoo on her lower back to let suitors know she takes it in the bum, red wine teeth convey that you have read at least 100 books.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5


To Top