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Haemorrhoid Sufferers Are Putting Frozen Potatoes Up Their Butts Instead Of Going To The Doctor

It doesn’t actually work.

Nobody likes getting haemorrhoids/piles (bulging veins in your anus for those lucky enough to have never experienced them) and everyone obviously gets a bit embarrassed going to the doctors to get them sorted out, so it’s not really that surprising that they might turn to the internet to try and figure out a different way of getting rid of them.

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Unfortunately, for some reason a lot of people are apparently sticking frozen potatoes up their butts to try and achieve this – at least according to the Daily Star – following a surge of articles published online championing this method. Here’s the text from one of them:

Here’s what you need to do: Peel a raw potato and cut into thin slices, like you do it for French fries.

Put the slices into the freezer and wait until they are frozen.

Insert the frozen potato slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds. Repeat the process for three to five days.

The next three to five days leave the slice inside for 30 seconds more each time.

The potatoes have astringent properties and help relieve the pain and itchy sensation which usually happens with this condition, while the ice cold potato constricts the blood vessels, reduces the swelling and relieves your pain instantly.

I mean that does sound like it might actually work so you can see why people might be trying it in order to avoid going to the doctor. Unfortunately it turns out it’s absolutely bollocks after Metro.co.uk decided to consult Dr.Diana Gall about the new trend.

Here’s what she had to say:

Piles can be an irritating condition and sufferers are sometimes too embarrassed to get professional help, turning to old wives’ tales instead.

There is no medical evidence that putting frozen potatoes inside the anus can help cure piles, so I would urge caution to anyone thinking of doing it.

Piles often go away on their own after a few days, but there are some tried and trusted ways to keep them at bay.

You should drink plenty of fluids and maintain a fibre-rich diet and try having regular warm baths to ease itching and pain.

If home treatments do not banish your piles, it is advised to go to your doctor and explore alternative treatments.

I mean that makes more sense, but I can see why people suffering from the pain of piles would try anything to get it to go away. Unfortunately, I haven’t actually seen any evidence of people posting on social media about this phenomenon so I kinda think that it’s just a clever advertorial from the Metro designed to go viral for the company that Diana Gall represents that’s plastered all over their article. Good work from them to be fair, but we’re not falling from it.

If you are tempted to stick frozen potatoes up your ass though, please don’t as it’s not gonna help anything. Unless maybe you like stuff up your butt, if you know what I mean?

For more of the same, check out these potatoes that are shaped like penises. Don’t stick one of those up your butt!

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