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HELP HEATH GET SPONSORED AT PARTYING

Be a part of something massive and help Heath win the best job in the world.

Hi there everyone.

So I’m taking time out from my usual sarcastic pseudo-political left-wing drivel to ask a big favour of you all.

It goes like this:

I have a close friend in the antipodes who has, in the last half decade, become one of my most trusted party accomplices. I recently spent a year in Canada followed by two in Australia where I met Adelaide-born madman Heath Townsend. Here is a photo of Heath with a camera taped to the side of his head to add some context.

You know when someone tells you that they’re a real crazy boozehound party animal who just gets like so totally fucked up all the time and who is loved by everyone? And really they’re just a boring shitless cunt with no game? Well if that’s what you’re thinking about this story then you are wrong. Heath Townsend is actually the real deal. The Real McCoy of partying. I have met some nutters in my life but Heath Townsend takes the cake. The Party Cake.

Here are some pictures of him partying like so so hard.

As a result, world-renowned eyewear corporation Dragon have shortlisted him for what they are calling Dragon’s BFF.  Basically, six people have been pitted against each other in a race to garner the most Facebook votes. The prize for winning this competition is that Dragon will – at their expense – fly the victor all over Australasia to be their Party Ambassador I guess. The winner gets to go to any kind of Dragon organized event in which partying is on the agenda in some form. He or she will co-ordinate, orchestrate, lead and eventually ruin any Dragon party across the continent for a full year.

Heath Townsend is a man who has affected my life irreversibly, he was a large part of the reason I went to Australia in the first place and as such is directly responsible for some of the best years I think I will ever have. The positive impact he has had upon my life-story is hard to over-estimate and so I would like to ask you all to help me and, more importantly, him by simply clicking on the link I am about to provide and voting for him. You have to click “Like” before you can vote. Once you have done that the option to vote for him should appear on his page.  Please do this and please get everyone you know, friend or foe, to vote as well. Thankyou.

Here is the link:

Heath Townsend Party Bastard

If you do this, not only will I be eternally grateful, karma will owe you a favour. You never know, maybe you will finally bump into that tall, dark and handsome stranger you’ve been yearning for all these long years.

Thanks very much.

I love you all.


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