GIRL COLLAPSES AFTER EATING CHICKEN NUGGETS EVERYDAY

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We’ve all got our certain crutches when it comes to food, certain items that will end up in the trolley no matter what. Sometimes a mental image of something delicious like Nando’s chicken will pop out of nowhere and completely eradicate rational thought till the urges takes control and you actually find yourself venturing out to get some. Imagine eating that particular food for practically your entire life… seems a bit shit now doesn’t it?

Well it didn’t matter to Stacey Irvine who recently collapsed after only eating chicken nuggets from the age of two till seventeen. She says she can’t remember ever eating any fruit or vegetables. This is some serious chicken nugget dedication. I wish i liked anything as much as this girl likes chicken nuggets.  Irvine told reporters:

McDonald’s chicken nuggets are my favourite. I share 20 with my boyfriend with chips. But I also like KFC and supermarket brands. My main meal is always chicken nuggets every day.”

Pretty crazy. It’s not been made clear whether her mum kept buying her chicken nugget meals out of laziness or if Irvine just kept going into nugget fuelled rages and her mum ended up relenting… every single time. When confronted by the media her mother said:

“It breaks my heart to see her eating those damned nuggets.”

Or sorry that her parenting failure has been exposed to the media? She sounds like a Scooby Doo villain.

“And I would have got away with it too if it hadn’t been for those damned nuggets!”

Whatever the case may be, Irvine kept eating chicken nuggets out of childhood and into maturity. But hey, why change the habit of a lifetime?

Unfortunately I do have a strange empathy for Irvine. I lived next door to a McDonald’s for sixteen years. My mum used to get us all happy meals at least twice a week from as long as i can remember till about nine years old. Morally, not a decent decision in hindsight but it can’t be undone. If McDonald’s was an idealistic franchise when young families walk inside the lights would dim and ‘Supersize Me’ would start playing from a projector on the wall… but it’s not.

After being diagnosed with anaemia and swollen veins in her tongue Irvine has come to the conclusion that she will have to include variety in her diet and will hopefully stay clear of the nuggets. Lets hope so, nobody wants ‘death by nuggets’ in their obituary.

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