I was pretty pissed up Sunday night and I was watching Match of the Day 2. I wasn’t pissed up celebrating St. Patrick’s Day because I’m not Irish and I’d feel like a traitor celebrating some other country’s hero when I don’t even know why the guy became an icon in Ireland and I don’t really care, either. I also haven’t got Instagram so I couldn’t take part in St. Patrick’s Day even if I wanted to as one of the rules of St. Patrick’s Day is that you’ve got to post photos of yourself, and your friends and random people, wearing Guinness hats and wearing Irish rugby tops and holding the Irish flag and propping toy leprechauns (rather than real ones) up on the table where you’re drinking and having a ‘feckin grert awl teym wid ma non-Irish frunz’.
â˜› St. Patrick’s Day Is Overrated: Google Glass Meets St Patrick’s Day
Nah, I couldn’t be arsed with St. Patrick’s Day as I had my own traditions going on: Sunday night piss up and Match of the Day 2. You should adopt these traditions if you already haven’t. They’re pretty good and you can drink as much as you like without worrying about anyone taking a photo of you pissing all over yourself. Anyway, one of the games that was shown on MOTD2 was Wigan vs Newcastle and it was a pretty shitty game because both teams rely on other teams messing up and are really boring and their centre-backs are more inventive than their attacking midfielders or strikers.
â˜› They Should Sign This Kid: 9 Year Old Patrik Jakubik Is Completely Sick At Football
There was one incident that livened the match up a bit, though, which involved Wigan player Callum McManaman attempting to end the career of Newcastle player, Massadio HaÃ¯dara. McManaman tried to end HaÃ¯dara’s career by sprinting at HaÃ¯dara and tackling his knee, rather than the ball, which ended up in a hideous-looking challenge and wouldn’t even be seen in a football match between GBH offenders and murderers, let alone in the Premiership. I’d never heard of McManaman before so I’m guessing he did this to try to make a name for himself as a ‘hard-man’ on the pitch but, now, everybody think he’s a dirty cunt instead. It should have been an immediate, straight red card but the ref – Mark Halsey – must have been bribed because he didn’t even put McManaman in the book. Unbelievable. I nearly choked on my San Miguel but I didn’t and swallowed it down instead. Have a look at the challenge:
I thought HaÃ¯dara’s leg was broken, looking at the challenge, but at the time of writing this Newcastle are waiting on scan results so no-one knows what – if any – the effects of McManaman’s Tekken Kick have had. While watching the challenge on replay for about 10 minutes it got me thinking: what is the worst leg-break in football, ever? Djibril Cisse went through my mind, so did Eduardo, Aaron Ramsey, Wilfred Bouma, Edgar Andrade and this one from Sweden but even though all of those injuries are pretty much disgusting and enough to make you chunder if you’re suffering from a really bad hangover/are a weak-stomached pussy, I’ve found the worst leg-break in football history for you ugly bunch to cast your gore-loving eyes over.
The two teams involved in the following video are South African teams – Mpumalanga Black Aces FC and the Carara Kicks (nah, I haven’t heard of them before, either). The guy who gets his leg broken is called Oupa Ngubule (Carara Kicks) and the perpetrator is called Felix Muamba-Musasa. The video’s a coupla years old but no-one cares about that because this is probably the worst leg break in football history, ever.