Fastest Skateboarder In The World

Mischo Erban

Some guy smashes the world record for being the fastest skateboarder in the world and shows us all what it’s like to have massive balls.

My guess is that there’s a few Sick Chirpsers who are skaters, cos well, skating is awesome and Sick Chirpse is awesome and it doesn’t really take some Oxford mathematician/scientist/philosopher to draw up a conclusion that awesome things go together really well like Sambuca and Red Bull/blowjobs and tits/Ross Kemp and his bald head.

Even though I’ve always thought skating is awesome I could never really do it properly and I’d end up falling and shearing off the skin on my palms or making myself look like a complete tool trying to kick-flip or slide or whatever. Instead of looking really cool I ended up looking really weird and lost so I’d just go home and zone out playing Tony Hawk’s Underground (what a game!) demolishing all the levels and using all the fucked-up cheats. It was kinda strange that I never got the hang of skating as I was majorly into BMX for years and wasn’t too shabby at it but I suppose I’ve always preferred 2 wheels to 4. My bike is still around here somewhere and thinking about it now really makes me miss just going out on it. I dunno why I stopped really. Oh yeah, I do. The fvcking government got rid of all the decent skateparks around by me. You fvcking spastic cunts.

Anyway, I’ve known some pretty good skaters who’ve got massive balls and don’t give a fvck/don’t really think about the consequences if they don’t land a trick properly and end up smashing their eye sockets everywhere or fracturing their hips or whatever but this guy really takes the piss. His name is Mischo Erban and he, ladies and gentlemen, is officially the fastest skateboarder in the world. He recorded the footage on his headcam of himself absolutely flying down a hill – reaching a ridiculous 80.56mph and smashing the previous record by 10mph. I bet the adrenaline rush is like being on a massive binge. Completely fucked-up. The guy’s a bro.

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