MOVIES

Escape From New York Is Getting Remade But It Actually Sounds Pretty Good

snake-plissken

Snake Plissken is back.

Anyone who knows anything about 80s movies will have seen John Carpenter’s iconic masterpiece Escape From New York, which tells the story of the ultimate antihero Snake Plissken breaking into New York – which is now serving as a maximum security prison in the year 1997 – and rescuing the President of The United States from all the savages that reside in there after his plane crashes. It’s pretty much a masterpiece of 80s filmmaking.

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So it’s kind of surprising that the film hasn’t been remade in any shape or form at this point, but that time is coming, don’t you worry and it seems like they might actually be doing a good job of it this time around for once. For one, John Carpenter is signed up as executive producer so he’s going to have a say in every decision, and Neil Cross – the creator of Luther – is writing the script.

That already sounds promising, but The Wrap have somehow managed to uncover ten plot points and when you read these you’re going to want to see it, trust me even though it seems to completely deviate from the story of the original:

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1. Snake Plissken’s real name.

Plissken in the previous two “Escape” films didn’t have a name, but now he does: He’s Colonel Robert “Snake” Plissken.

2. Our bad guy won’t be the Duke of New York.

Instead, he’s the lean, intensely charismatic Thomas Newton, the playboy heir to an agrochemical and biotech corporation. Five years ago, he decided to donate his entire fortune. Sounds like a good guy, right? He’s not.

3. The role originated by Lee Van Cleef will now be played by a woman.

The film will introduce us to CIA Deputy Executive Director Roberta Hauk.

4. New York City isn’t a maximum security prison.

Weird, right? Because New York being a prison was kind of crucial to the whole “escape from New York” concept. In the reboot, New York is breathtakingly lovely. Manhattan is the island we know, but with more towering glass structures and a high, undulating glass wall. The sky is alive with drones as serene as bees, and artificial intelligence controls all in the form of an ethnically ambiguous, cheery young woman called April. A small staff of technicians and researchers known as “Seers” monitor all.

5. The remake doesn’t start in New York City.

The original “Escape” film deleted the opening scene that showed how Snake Plissken was apprehended. The new version won’t. Its set in another major city, one not in the United States.

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6. The film imagines a world in chaos. 

Globally, one in every seventy five human begins is now either a refugee, internally displaced, or seeking asylum.

7. A hurricane is coming. 

It’s called Superstorm Ellery.

8. April’s security won’t be as good as everyone hoped.

That will make the whole city vulnerable.

9. Snake has only eleven hours to complete his mission.

In the original film, he had 22 hours. Plissken’s mission is to bring in Newton alive.

10. Newton has a failsafe.

It’s a mysterious device called Fat Boy — an ominous, dull metal sphere about the size of a car, in a nest of conduits and cabling.

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Whoa. That doesn’t really sound anything like the original movie – how can Escape From New York not feature New York as a prison FFS? – but other than the fact that Snake’s first name is Robert (lame), it sounds like it has all the trappings of an entertaining film in there.

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I’m interested sure, it’s just kind of a shame they have to market it as an Escape From New York remake just to get it made though because it sounds like it could have stood on its own if they had given it a chance. So it goes, although in fairness I doubt I would have been that into it if Snake Plissken wasn’t involved.

Let’s hope it doesn’t turn out as bad as any of these remakes. Jesus Christ, what were they thinking?


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