My buddy Poskos who works in the city sent me over one of the employee complaint forms a few days ago, talking about how an employee David Thorne had been ruthlessly bullying someone else called Simon Dempsey by stealing his business cards from his desk drawer and changing his title on them from ‘graphic designer’ to ‘horse whisperer.’ Simon Dempsey had managed to hand out a bunch of these before he realised that they had been changed. Obviously I thought this was a pretty big LOL so asked Poskos if I could feature it on Sick Chirpse – I didn’t want him to get screwed over at his job or anything. He replied and said of ‘of course, that’s fine,’ so I set to work on making the post as best I could. However, in the meantime, Prewthless (who was also included on the original email) had managed to send me about ten more of these employee harassment forms. Turns out they aren’t real! Gee, who would have thought?
Turns out David Thorne is some (semi) famous Australian satrist/comedian. Notice (semi) which probably explains why it didn’t click straight away. Anyway, moral of the story is that Poskos got me good and was probably sitting in his stupid offices laughing about how gullible I was to believe it was actually someone who worked for his company. Nice one buddy, I wish I got a copy of the complaint forms about female employees accusing you of sexual harassment because you always stare at their tits though. Any change you could send those over?
Anyway, enjoy these employee harassment forms though – they’re pretty jokes. My favourite is probably when David Thorne couldn’t talk to Simon Dempsey because he was too busy researching wasps on the internet.